Same Stage, Different Age!

In childhood there are two stages that are similar yet different in the way they need to be handled. The ages are those of two year olds and those of teenagers.  These two ages have very different abilities in self-care, yet share a common goal: Independence.

I can do it myself.  Many parents will remember this statement coming from the two year old who wanted to put on their own shoes. During the teen years it shows up by wanting to do more adult like behaviors.  It is important to recognize that wanting to do something versus being at a developmentally appropriate level to do it are two different things.  Teens especially young teens need to earn the privilege to do more adult-like activities. A child who can not take out the trash and clean-u up their room without nagging is not ready to spend unsupervised time with their friends.

Supervision, Supervision Parental supervision is the most important job when discussing a two year old, quiet in the house means trouble.  Most parents think that teens need less supervision. They need more. Teens are looking into the adult world with all the curiosity of a two year old.  They are looking into drinking, driving, smoking, sex, and other adult activities. These children are not more able to accept this responsibility that the two year old is ready to tie their own shoes. Parents do need to know who their teen’s friends are, who their parents are, where they are going and what they are doing.

Undivided Attention Children at both stages need time with their parents. Two year olds need this time to be held, read to, and reassured. Teens need this time to be mentored, comforted, and supported.  Parents who practice active listening really ensure teens have what they need. Active listening requires listening and not judging. Asking your teen,”Are you seeking advice or do you just need me to listen?” This question sets the stage for how you will listen. Teens also sometimes talk more in the midst of an activity. Go for cooking dinner, playing a board or card game, hiking, or walking.

Although, the age changes the temperament and personality do not change. Keep this in mind as you spend time with your teens. Treat them accordingly and you and your teen will come through the teen years with flying colors.

Believe in Parenting

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You look out for the welfarae of your children! Are You Willing to Look out for oOther Children too?

Monday morning I was speaking to the Trainer of Volunteers for Fulton County CASA. She stated to me the serious nature of lack of support for her agency. There are approximately 13,000 children in custody in the state of Georgia; 1300 of them are in Fulton County. This means ten perscent of all the children in Georgia who need someone looking out for their best interest are her in Metro Atlanta. Currently, there are approximately 850 children who do not have a CASA volunteer looking out for their best interest.

WE NEED YOU!

I am attaching the link to the Fulon County CASA website here. Though there is a donate button and CASA is always glad to have your monetary donations. What the children of Fulton County need is for someone to be trained in how to help them and ensuare their best ibnterests are being emphasised before the court. They need an independant and well trined adult to speak for them in court.

There is a 40-hour training to be a volunteer. They are through in how they train people to serve the children in this capacity. This crisis can only be solved by adults who are willing to at least committ their time to be trained. Having gone through the training a person could then decide whether or not they would have the time and inclination to help. Please consider at the very least  going through the training.

Believe in Training

Brining Using Multiple Intelligence in Children’s Ministry Classrooms

Parents, Teachers and Advocates has seen and need over the last few years a need for churches to begin using educational strategies to help children grow and develop in children's ministry. We know that there are churches of less than a thousand members who cannot afford to bring in a speaker to train their children Ministry volunteers. So, we are partnering with Rabbi Kevin Solomon and Congregation Beth Hallel to bring this class to any smaller Church in the Atlanta area who would like to have their volunteers trained. The class entails the following:

Using Learning Styles in the Children’s Ministry Classroom

Curriculum

(2-hour/4-hour)

• Learning Style Defined- Ice breaker students will begin the class by learning the basics of what learning styles are.

(15/20 minutes)

• Definition of Multiple Intelligence In a mini-lecture students will learn about the eight forms of intelligences defined by Dr. Howard Gardner. (15/25 min)

• Using Multiple Intelligence using a hand-on exercise studwents will discuss the eight forms of intelligence and how they have seen them used in their lives. (35/50 min)

• Basics of Classroom Use students will discuss and develop ways for them to use learning styles in practical and ongoing manner. (35/50 min)

• Using Curriculum to Plan Basic Use Each ministry uses a different curriculum. Looking at the format specific to the ministry. Students will use a lesson plan to create a multiple learning environment. (20/30 min)

• Practice Classroom Environment and Use of Learning Styles Using the created plan students will then set up, create open ended questions and present to other classmate their plan for a multiple learning style classroom. (Only 4 hr. 1.5 hrs)

Quality infant care and what it looks like

In the early childhood srena infant care is the most expensive and most intricate of all tiled care. The main reason for this is that infants need individualized direct care.  there for there are fewer teacher to Children the ideal ratio in one teacher to for children. This ratio makes it possible for the teacher to not just feed and change a baby that also to have real true interaction with them helping them to work on aspects of an infant's development with them right where they are.

So here's a breakdown of what I think an infant room should be:

1. Anyone injured room should be to remove their shoes put on Fox or pre-prepared how shoot and immediately go wash their hands.
2. What they want their hands and put on a smog then and only then can they enter the infant room and catch babies.
3. If they themselves have cold or some other kind of respiratory infection they should cover their mouth with a mask
4. Everyone who comes in contact with the infants need to work really hard to ensure that they are kept well. 
5. Breastfeeding moms should have a quiet private place to nurse.
6. Teachers should be seen either on the floor with infant or holding them in rocking chairs or playing with them in some kind of way talking with them engaging with them reading to them showing them black and white pictures and colorful objects.
7. You should find a lesson plan on the wall somewhere it should have individual children's named and an activity or page number something to let you know that the teachers are doing some kind of educational activity with each child.
8. The staff should remain static only if there are lunches a teacher is sick or there's some other kind of training teachers in the infant room should be there always and Romaine the child teacher until they leave that classroom.
9. Only parent and infant teacher should be allowed in the infant room at all times.
10. You should be able to ask any teacher in the room what is the procedure for emergency evacuation and they should be able to tell you.
11. Bottle should be warmed in a bottle warmer a Crock-Pot with water or an electric kettle with the big tub nearby that allows hot water to be used to warm bottles, bottle should never be warmed in a microwave.
12. The diaper changing area should be meat and clean there should be a water solution that is 1 part bleach 3 Parts water used to clean the infant changing station.
13. Hot and cold running water with soap should be close enough for Teacher to watch their hands without removing the the baby after changing.
14. Babies who are walking should not be in the same space with babies who are not.
15. When babies are awake they should be either in a carrier on the floor with other baby, on the floor on their tummies playing with objects, in their cribs playing with your hands and feet, or with the teacher. You should see babies in all of these places when you visit. If you see baby's only and carriers for every time you did that that's a warning sign.
16. If you see baby to have balding spots in the back of their heads, and it's more than one baby that cost or warning sign that they spend most of the day in their carriers are car seats or laying on their backs in their cribs.
17. Our teacher talking to baby as they change them this is a good time from language and Faith to Faith activity and teachers should be using it for such.
18. Every Center should share information with you on how your child is doing daily. One of the most special ways that I have seen is an infant care room that used journals and wrote down more than just what the child 8 or whether or not they made use of their diaper. The teacher also shared their impressions of the child what exercises they were working on what cute things were done and took pictures Polaroid and take them into the journal so that it not only became a way for parent to learn about your baby during the day it also became a keepsake. The really cool thing about this journal is that it went back and forth between parent and teacher so that each one of them had a chance every day to write in until both the center and the home had really good ideas includes about what was going on with the baby every day.
19. There should be information about infant care in the room for you to pick up teacher should share with you and be able to answer your questions about infants on a regular basis they deal with infants everyday.
20. The infant room should be a comb and happy place you should hear music in the background teacher should be pleasant with one another it should be happy place a place that you want to stay and linger with your baby while you're there.

So if I was with you looking for child care on infant room that I would say yes this is where your child should be these are the 20 things that I would look for and expect in a high-quality infant room.

Taking care of infant is exacting and exhausting work. Teachers who love it though never work a day in their lives they just love an opportunity to be around babies all day

You want to get the sense from being in that room that that's exactly how they feel and they are looking out for and doing the very best possible job for DMV in their care. Ultimately this makes the very best high quality program. Teachers who are well-educated and love babies I want to do everything they can to help them grow and develop.

Believe in Parenting
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Want more information about quality child  care? Check out the book Choosing High-Quality Child Care!

Co-parenting-Coming Together Like a Sperm and an Egg

One of the things I've always found very interesting is that we have adults who are not marreiedand share their child in different households, and that's called co-parenting. I find that to be ironic because the truth is everybody co-parents.

There is this myth that exist in Western culture that parenting is somehow an innate behavior. The truth is we learned to parent from how our parents parented us. We take the sum of our childhood experiences and repeat those experiences with our own children. Now, if your parents were wonderful. loving, kind, supportive, and understood who you were meant to be then that is awesome!Because, you're going to be that same kind of parrot. However if your parents were mean-spirited, cold, unresponsive, neglectful, and vengeful the chances are you are going to raise your children the same way. Tthere are cases where this is not the case; my own father is a Case in point. Just understand that there are always exceptions to the rule.

I will point out this is not a doomsday prediction, it is afgterall why parent coaches exist. Here are some things to remember.

1.  Every adult has the power to change the way they act, think. and behave; it is a choice. 
2. This process is difficult because as I said before parenting is a learned behavior which means you have to unlearn some things and relearn others. 
3. A parent coach is oone professional who can help you beging to navagate the changes you may want to make. 
4. This is also what makes co-parenting so valuable; because you are not parenting alone you have a partner This partner is a person who is in this with you who wants you to be the best parent you for the sake of your children.

So here's an exercise what emphasizes the most important parts of co-parenting. That is having a clear erstanding of the household your spouse grew up in. I encourage take a day or two and think about the following question and then come together and talk about it.

The best/worst thing about growing up in my house with my parents was...

 Here is how I recommend you go through the process.

1. When you talk about it the atmosphere is really important. Talk in a quiet plaxce where you both feel safe and cozy. This is probably going to be one of the most intimate conversations you will have in your realtionship. 
2. Be courteous and really listen, observe body language, and hear the emotions your spouse is feleting as they share about how they grew up. Is it something they want to repeat or is it something they want to change? Sometimes even the things that seemed good did not necessarily felt that way growing up.
3.  Get really transparent with each other about how you grew up and what your household was really like and then give each other love, comfort, and understanding around those tough issues. Celebragte and laugh about the happy and joyous times.
4. After sharing these thoughts and feelings give it a couple of weeks maybe even a month, but then come back together and talk about how you wamt tp raise your family together. 

Ask these questions

1. What are some of the things that you really want to repeat and make a tradition in your own household?
2.  What are some of the things that you absolutely do not want to repeat, and do not want in your family?

Create a Parenting Pact

1.  Talk about these things 
2. Write them down J
3. old each other accountable 
4. Make a plan to review this at least yearly 

Our views change becayse we read, gain more information through talk-shows, and onversations. Parenting at it's root is a relationship between parent and child. Children have different relationshps with each parent. This is neither good nor bad it just the way things are. Revising these things in an open and honest conversation keeps you on the same page and helps your children know what the boundares are because they get the same answer from each of you.

I will say it again everybody co-parents. The thing about it, is you could do it wisely by talking it through, offering each other support, and being on the same page. Or you could fight one another never seeing eye to eye on what it means to parent. I would pick the former it us for the best. Good luck!

Believe in Parenting

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Moms of Compassion Community Forum Tour of Georgia

Hello I am so excited to be a part of a phenomenal group of women Sheneeza Volcova, Corey Lowe, April Ward, and I are the hoSts of a new Christian Television Network and Queen Water Network talk show called Moms of Compassion. This is a project of His Kindness Foundation and is a nonprofit work to combine our mission of serving Christian community by bringing everyday issues into their living rooms and then getting them to come out of their houses to meet as a group to provide the answers they need through outreach, subject matter experts and people in the community who want to help and support families as they are empowered to turn and help someone else to come throught the same issues.

This concept is unique. Because we are not just working to produce a television show. We are r3eaching into the homes of hurting poeople and then bringubg the answers they need abd are looking for with our Moms of Campassion Tour.

I want to share the fact that our first community forum is going to take place on March 14th 2019 acting East Roswell Recreation Center from 6 to 8 p.m. ourfocus  is on the needs of special needs children, their families, and how the church can support families who need it.

I can tell you that we are looking for service providers, support group leaders, families with special-needs children, churches who want to support them, respite agencies, and the general public who are looking to be able to  help these families, to come and be a part of the conversation.

We do have vendor and sponsorship opportunities if you're interested and we would really like to have at least 30 vendors. There is room for everyone we want to make your service known to those families who need you. Here is a link to the information.

As I stated earlier this Moms of Compassion Special Needs community forum is coming  to a city in Georgia near you. If you are a parent, provider, respite organization, or physician. We would like to speak to you about being a Keynote Speaker for one of these events near you.  If you have questions please contact me at Barbara@andbabyco.com or Sheneeza Volcova at info@hiskindnessfoundation.com.

If this idea intrigues you, but you can not participate in person. We would appreciate a donation to our Fundly page here is that link.


Here are our tour dates (more details to come):

Roswell 3/14/19

Macon 4/18/19
Augusta 4/25/19

Columbus6/6/19
Albany 6/20/19
Athens 8/22/19
Chattanooga 8/29/19
Savannah 10/24/19
Valdosta 10/17/19

Special needs parents are a unique breed of people they love their children and they do everything they can to help them become as and dependent as possible.

Please come out and support them because if you're like me and you believe in parenting then the best thing we can do is offer loving kindness and support to pair to have one of the toughest jobs on the planet.

Believe in parenting!

It is time for the church to take her head out of the sand!

Hello, as many of you have probably seen on Facebook and Linkedin, I am one of four host on a new show coming to Christian Television and Queen Ester network in Macon, Georgia. The show is called Moms of Compassion. It is our goal to bring to the forefront of Christian living the struggles, hardships, and needs that the church has been ignore for decades.

These issues are as follows:

Special needs children, mental illness, alcoholism, drug abuse,spousal abuse, child abuse, sex trafficking, pornography, abortion, and many others.

I can tell you that after communing with the Holy Spirit, He is not happy. He called us to the Earth to be His hands and feet to bring hurting people comfort, support, aid, to bind up there wounds, to get in the trenches and help them. To work with and be led by Him to the remedies to help people deal with what's going on in their everyday world.

Instead, we have abandoned them,  looked down on them with our pride and log filled eyes. It is time for us to take our heads out of the sand. It is time for us to recognize that we have failed to love one another. To really love and care for the least of us. It is time to wake up and be about our Father's business.

Moms of Compassion is a television talk show dedicated to Bringing these issues to the forefront through conversations and then getting out into the community and bringing forth solutions, information, support, and resources for people who need them.

I recently heard the story of a special-needs family whose child admittedly an older child accidentally soiled himself at church. Did the church respond in a loving and caring way? Letting the parents know that even though the child was older, we recognize and he has special needs and he may not have all the capabilities of other children. No, you Guessed It they asked that family to leave the church and not bring that child back. The left foot of fellowship!

It makes me ashamed to call myself a Christian  because they do. It just adds another layer to the line Christians are the only ones who shoot their own wounded. It is time for the Bride of Christ to stop acting like a bunch of lily-livered wimps and stand up and come against the enemy with everything in us and love  know another, and hurting people with everything in us.

I know this post is a rant and I'm sorry. For those of you who follow me I know you know that my heart is to help and support people. To give people especially parents the tools and resources they need to do an exceptional job with their children.

It is my hearth desire to see the church step up and become exceptional  in how they care for God's  people.

Believe