Sunday, June 26, 2016

Teaching your Children: They were Sent

I recently joined a group on Facebook called Purpose over  Popularity in addition I'm helping a friend with her motivational speaking business called I Am Life in Tune. Interacting with the ladies who are involved with both of these entities has helped me to begin to rethink on the topic of purpose. What I have been thinking about is how we have mistakenly thought that we need to find the meaning of life. Every person on the planet was actually not simply born onto the planet. However, we were actually sent to the planet. As Christians we recognize that there is life after death. But, what we forget is there also life before birth or for that matter conception. One of my favorite verses is Psalms 139:16.

Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in Your book and planned
before a single one of them began. (Holman)

What I believe this verse gives us is a clear understanding of God having a purpose for us. It is for this purpose we have been born. We were sent here by God to accomplish something. It is up to us not only to find out what that something is, but to prepare our children to do the same. I just read a great article in Relevant Magazine. The title is "What it Really Means o be Made in the Image of God" it talks about all the ways we are like the Creator. One of them is relational. I believe parents  reflect to our children what God is like. Not just by what we say, but in how we live.

I have spoken in previous blogs about being the example for our children and how they live what they learn. I have not spoken much about what we say to them about life and living. I believe every parents should be asking God to reveal to them the purpose for their child being sent here and talking to them about it. I do not know about you,  but I never heard growing up: God sent you here for a reason. Do you know what that reason is? Are you working towards the goal of doing what you are here to do?

Raising children to be purposeful, engaging, productive, adults who commune with God, begins with getting directions from the Holy Spirit and training the child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). This scripture is not simply about discipline. It is also about purpose. Train up a child to be disciplined and purposeful and when they are old they will not depart from it.

I will give a caveat here. This is to be God's purpose for your child and not yours. Just because your child is one of the best soccer players on the field doe not mean they are to play professionally. It could mean they will get a full ride scholarship so they can become the world's greatest astrophysicist. The only way to know this is to for you to ask and teach them to ask God for the reason they were sent here to Earth.

I know this is a different take on things and may be a bit to wrap your head around. I encourage you to think on it and seek the Holy Spirit on how to apply it your life. And as always,

Believe in Parenting



Sunday, June 12, 2016

From Generation to Generation

In 1993 when a teacher from Oral Robertsy University laid hands on me and said  "look up to the fields and see how white  they are for Harvest. You are called to help the children." I understood it to mean that as a parent educator my main goal was in helping parents, in order to help their children. Over the years there have been many reminders for me of this calling.  Last night I got the biggest anointing fall on me as I listened to a group of little children singing "Let the Weight of Your Glory Fall" a song by Paul Wilber. Ultimately this is the calling of God on every parent be sure that your children not only can sing this song.  But, mean it from their  childlike heart and live it all the days of their lives. Until they come face-to-face with the Master of the Universe! Here's a bit of the song I heard, recorded I hope it ministers to you as a parent and as a Christian.
Here it is.

Believe in Parenting

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Keep your Children in Church: Parenting from an Authentic Life

Deuteronomy 6:6-9, states:
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as [b]frontals [c]on your forehead.You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

This is what Solomon refers to as raising a child in the way he should go. Friday night I spoke with a Mom who told me her three children  all now in their late teens or early twenties are in church and serving God. She knows so many others whose children are not. One Sunday night at dinner she asked them why this was. Their answer, because  loving and serving God was real in our house. You and Dad would talk about what the Bible had to say as you made decisions. You read the Bible with us and talked about it almost every week. But, mostly you guys talked about it all the time it was real. That was not true at our friends houses even though they went to church. It was not something they lived everyday. 

Keeping your kids walking in the Faith means you MUST make it real in your own lives!

Ultimately  this is about being authentic in your own lives.Authenticity is all about aligning your beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions. Living life based solely on what you believe. This is not to say you can not change your mind about what you think and believe. It does mean it is one of the things you talk about doing.

Teaching authentic living requires three things:


  1. Talking about what you believe and think
  2. Explaining to your nd believe what you do
  3. Living authentically yourself.   
A life lived by believing in God is not enough. Taking your children to church I'd not enogh. Having your teen be a youth group leader is not enough. The old poem is true "Children Learn What They Live". It is your authentic living of your faith  which will keep your kids in church!

Believe in Parenting 

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Why is Multiple Intelligence important in Children's Ministry?

Dr. Howard Gardner is the person who came up with the theory of multiple intelligence. Multiple intelligence means says there are different ways each learns. Dr. Gardner came up with 8 ways in which we learn. Each of these ways need to be explored in every classroom.  Although, many educators use it as a secondary process behind teaching strategies.  I believe this to be a mistake. Learning always starts with the learner. Therefore,  in  children's ministries across the nation we need to be using multiple intelligence in order to empower children to learn.

The 8 forms of intelligence are logical/mathematical, linguistic, musical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and natural. In order to use these learning styles effectively takes two forms of planning. The first is open-ended questions to ask children  to inspire critical thinking. The second is a classroom  environment  designed to engage all forms of intelligence. Children’s Ministers and volunteers can use these strategies  to enrich the children's  experience and development in Christianity.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Understanding Safe Sleep

I am a member of the Georgia Infant Safe Sleep Commission or GISSC. This is a, coalition of governmental, eeducational, and nonprofits who work together to help parents to develop safe sleeping habits for their babies. The process of safe sleeping says: Infants should sleep alone, on a firm matress, with a light cover. Ideally matress pads, crib bumpers and pillows are not in the crib or bassinet.


Now, let me tell you why. Because it is better to be safe and to error on the side of caution. Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those overly cautious parent educators who think parents need to be watching children 24/7 or else. I am however wanting parents to recognize the fact that knowing better means doing better. I work on the Coalition with a GBI medical examiner who does autopsies on all children under five. She had spoken to us on several occasions about how devastating it is to parents who wake up to find their child has died in bed with them.

I often hear people say families have been co-sleeping for generations, which of course is true. But, matresses have also changed. Most people think the danger of  suffication for an infant is rolling over on a child.  But, in  reality the danger comes from a parrot rolling over and the baby rolling over onto their face and not being able to breathe. A sleeping parent rarely realizes their rolling during sleep. Yet, many infants have died this way. One infant dying this,way is one too many when we know better. Let your child sleep alone in a basdinette next to your bed if you want them close to you.

Parenting is mostly about examining your feelings, thoughts and actions and choosing what is best for your child. Snuggling is certainly important part of bonding. Sleeping together is fun and creates a closeness. However,  there is a time for everything wait to snuggle while sleeping until you child is older . It will be safer.

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Fighting ISIS with Multiple Intelligences

After reading Scott Atrum's article in the Guardian  it convinced me, even more about the importance of building strong, emotionally connected mentoring relationships with outr children as they become teens. Guardianhttp://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/nov/15/terrorists-isis

Mr. Atrum speaks regarding the ISIS strategy to entice our kids into thinking positively and purposely using their disgruntled teen angs against them. Getting them to see themselves as serving the greater good by joining terrorism ranks. It is time we in the Western world fight back.

Fighting back however can not take place via lectures or shoulds from parental anger or frustration. Rather we help them by connecting them to their own identity. We can only do this by connecting them to their own heart-felt, inner desires.

This suggest we teach them to recognize their own beliefs, abilities, passion, and purpose. We do this by introducing them to their own MI. Here is some information.

Multiple Intelligence the Basics

Multiple Intelligences (Seven Frames of Mind)

Dr Howard Gardner is the person who is best known for this theory. In his opinion all people are intelligent. Most parents will see their child’s tendency for intelligence early in life. Children tend to show how they learn instinctively. Does your child, talk endlessly; are they constantly trying to figure out how things work, are they airways doing some for of physical activity? They are showing you their propensity for intelligence. In our culture the tendency is to value only those who have a head for language or logical intelligence. Dr. Gardner has stated that the school system is set up to value these types of learning. This can be a dangerous attitude for our children. Many children do just fine in school. However, we need to recognize that not everyone has the ability to be a straight A student. Some people need to work harder to learn because in school using verbal and  logical forms of intelligence is the norm. We need to encourage all learning types. So that we can recognize the obvious intelligence of a person like Dr. Phil who is very intellectual and verbal; and also value the intellectual ability of Thomas Kincaid “the’ painter of lights”; two obviously successful men with two very different forms of Intelligence.

According Dr. Gardner there are eight forms of Intelligence they are as follows:

Linguistic - Word
Logical/Mathematical - Numerical/Measuring
Spatial- Picture
Body Kinesthetic- Physical/Hands-on
Musical- Rhythm/Sounds/Music
Interpersonal- People Knowledge/Takling
Intrapersonal - Self Knowledge/Introspective
Naturalist- Nature/Outdoors

Each of these intelligences is important to various career and personal goals or ambitions. However, all of us are gifted with some of each. The idea is to see and use the predominate form of intelligence in each of us. The way to do this is to focus on the strength of each area. The following information gives some examples.

Linguistic uses words or language to learn. The process of learning involves lots of words both spoken and written.
A person with linguistic intelligence might be a voracious reader.

Logical-Mathematical uses logic or numbers to learn. These people primarily need to find the logic or numeral use. A logical-mathematical person may like puzzles or to discover why something works.

Spatial leaning involves being able to see a vision of the learning. These people use design, pictures, and other artistic means. A person with spatial intelligence may learn by drawing an image of their understanding of the information.

Body Kinesthetic learns mainly through hands-on and concrete methods. This person needs to see, taste, hear, smell and interact with concepts to learn them. A person with body kinesthetic intelligence benefits from doing activities they can be involved in a physical way.

Music learning involves using sounds or rhythms to learn. These folks learn through the creation of music, sounds, and rhythmic patterns. A person with this kind of learning may need to place information into song or rhythmic pattern to get an understanding.

Intrapersonal learning involves relating the information through self-reflection. This person may need quiet time to reflect on how this information fits into his or her own personal world.

Interpersonal learning involves interaction with others.
This person may need to discuss the information with others or be involved in a group project.

Naturalist learning involves outdoor or nature involved learning. This person may need to be involved in an outdoor activity or an environmental project to fully understand the information.

When individuals figure out what they are good at and enjoy it is easier to find passion and,purpose from within. Those who have this,are less likely to accept someone else's idea of purpose as their own. This combined with living authenticity can become powerful weapons in keeping ISIS from recruiting western teens to their cause!

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Sex Trafficking and Parenting

Does this seem like an odd posting? Be warned I am being both graphic and real here. Unless and until we face this issue our girls will continue to be commodities rather than children.

There are 100 thousand children in the United States who are being sex trafficked everyday, in every city in America.  There are men who are willing to rape our babies. They are even willing to pay other men to do so.

 The average young girl who is forced into prostitution is aged 11 to 14. What happenes to this young girl starts with  her parents being absent in one way or another. A predator sneaks in to fill the gap.  Telling her that she's loved,  that she's cared for, buying her gifts basically getting her to fall in love with them. Their objective is only to turn her a few days, weeks, or months later into a street whore. The process sets them up to be gang raped, beaten, demoralized to strip her of both of her dignity and humanity. To turn her into a product, a slave to be bought and sold on the streets of America.

Parents you have  a role  in this scenario you can  build strong, loving, committed relationships with your children. Know who their friends are, where they are going and with whom. Help them find purpose and focus by helping them to find what they are passionate about and help them build good solid rrelationshis with other kids.

Pimps look for kids who are lonely, vulnerable, with low self-esteem, or who are foster kids or in group homes. Parents are the only ones who have continuous ability to give kids the tools they need to avoid being targeted! Please do your part.

I know this is hard to hear and even harder to believe. Before you right off my warning read the first three chapters of this book.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/?ean=9780989645126

Believe in Parenting