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Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Effective Parenting: Focus on the End not the Beginning




I call parenting the toughest job you wll ever love and hate! This is the most uniqye job in the world because it asks you to help someone who is new to the world or someone who has benn bruised and battered by the world and give to them everything they will need to grow into an authentic and productive menber of the city, country, and global world to which we all belong. It feel daughning and it is exacting. But, this person is cute, loving, kind, funny, sometimes angry , scared, scarred, and overwhelmingly vulnerable. So, how do you do this job with love, support, discipline and even sterness, expectations, and support all at once?


Start with You

Over the years I have learned that being a great parent begins with knowing yourself, what you believe, what is important to you and why it is important. This is the foundation of authenticity. This is the number one thing that adults need to parent effectively. Why? The answer to this question lies in the fact that children especially ypung childen are keen observers. They spend endless hours observing the world around them, looking at what parents say and do consistently. As an early childhood teacher, I would tell parents I knew what was going on in their home by watching their children.



Once when I was observing in the three year old class room a little girl named Lin was in the hous keeping area. She put on a fether boa, a larg floppy hat and high heel she told her friend she would be back. She went to the art area and drew a picture, she went and got her snack, she asked the teacher a quetion, and then headed back to the housekeeping area and yelled; "Honey, I'm home". I have to tell you to this day it is the cutest thing I have everseen aloth that young lady is now probably 25. When her mom came to get her later that day I just had to ask. When you go out and come home do you usually say, "honey, I'm home?" she looked a bit startled and said yes, then I told her the story. She laughed and said they will give you away won't they, I smiled and nooded.




Later, when I was a center director at a military installation. I had a four year old David who everytime he made a mistake a certain four letter word would come out of his mouth. When I called Dad into my office to discuss he issue, he turned beet red, told me his wife warned him about his mouth, and  said he would talk to him. Several weeks later I was giving the classroom teacher a break when David made a mistake on his coloring page. Ge said, the four letter word and then said "oh I mean fiddle sticks". Then looked at me I smiled at him and winked.

The point I am illustrating with these stories is that your children will mirror who you are. The will highlight to you both the things you love and hate about who you are; so by working on yourself first you are changing that model for your children. One thing most people do not know about kids is that they will take a full 80% of what they see from their parents into their adulthood and only 20% of what they hear. This means your actions carry a heavier weight in your parenting than what you say. Thus, the saying actions speak louder than words is key to the process of effective parenting.

Adults not Children

It is difficult for most new parents to look at their child and realize in just a few short years they will be groown and off to college. When you have this little bundle of joy it is hard to remember the bulk of your relationship with then wil be as adult to adult. I realized earlier this week that the great anxiety we all had over the issue of Y2K was twenty years ago. Time really does fly. If you had a child in 1999 tget wukk tyrb 20 this year that is how fast time flies. Babies born during the time of 9-11 turn 18 this year.What I am saying is many times we worry about our kids and what is happening in their lives today. But, the best thing for us to do is to be concerned primarily with who they will be as they leave your home to begin creating homes of their own.

I think this is extreamely important because it will take the pressure off you wanting your child to be perfect. No one is perfet. All we can expect is for our children to do their best. If what we do is help them to think before they act. Get them to know the rules and understand how those rules apply to thhem.  Then teach them to use the rules to govern their behavior, attitudes, and how they relate to others. Then hold them accountable according to their age and understanding, only then can we begin to expect them to create the person they will grow into as an adult. Until then they are going to make the same mistakes we did and many times still do. Give your kids room to be human.

Parenting with the Future in Mind

The ultimate goal of parenting is to send your child into the world ready to take it on and win. This means preping them to be successful. There are five things to focus on here.


  1. Be a great example.
  2. Be authentic. While teaching them to be authentic.
  3. Live your own dreams, Hopes, and goals.
  4. Help them to explore who they are ant ehir own hope and dreams.
  5. Focus on helping them to live up to who they are meant to be and not who you want them to be


One of the reasons this is the toughest job you will ever love and hate boils down to one of my favorite sayings: "Your children are not yours, they are on loan from God". What I take this to mean is God sent your kids here wit ha purpose and that purpose is to serve Him. They serve Him by doing what He has sent them here to do. If you make that your focus; them you will become one of the most effective parents on the planet.

Believe in Parenting

Thursday, May 30, 2019

Train Them Up; PT&A's New Project--A Brand Story




When I was 22 years old  I sought God for my purpose. Meeting Dr. Myles Monroe in the lobby of Metropolitan Christian Worship Center and having him tell me. “Connect with God the manufacture and find out why He sent you here to Earth and you will never founder.” It changed my life. I have always worked with children it started in the church nursery when I was 13. So, after graduating from college and working at Kiwanis Camp Wyman where I learned first-hand the devastation f children who were wards of the state. I met two little girls ages 10 and 12 whose mothers put them into care rather than give up the boyfriends who were molesting their daughters. It was the first time I met with children who were not in connected relationships with their parents.  It broke my heart and sent me to God not just to find why, but how I could become the solution. This started me on the journey to understanding how broken adults in turn break their kids. It was a few years late that I realized 100% of adults are broken and need help to heal so they can effectively connect with their children
In 1995 I graduated from Oral Roberts University with a master’s degree in early childhood education with an emphasis in parenting. It was ll years later when I along with three friends formulated Parents, Teachers, and Advocates a parent development group whose mission is to coach adults to inspire, motivate and empower their children to become exceptional adults. Since then we have worked with over 10,000 adults in conjunction with nonprofits, churches, childcare centers and others coaching parents to overcome their brokenness and begin to build stronger relationships with their children.
Train Them Up is our new project. This show is designed to create a safe place where adults can be authentic sharing joys, hurts, frustrations, and anger with God, each other, and experts. It is the goal that through this authenticity we will develop strong connections with ourselves, God, our community, and our children. Allowing us to use the authenticity and connectedness to become more effective parents. I often say parenting is the toughest job you will ever love and hate. Train Them Up is a talk show dedicated to coaching parents into Authentic, Connected, and Effective parenting from pre-birth through college graduation. Come and join our community watch the show, join our FB page, join our 30, 60, and 90-day challenges, attend our conferences, and travel with us on our cruises. You can be an effective parent you just need authenticity and connection to bring your child from birth through college graduation.

Believe in Parenting

Want more information ptanda.org 

Book by Barb Harvey--
Work-Life Balance 
Multiple Intelligence: Building You and Your Team Choosing High-quality Child Care


Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Are You Ready for the Summer?



Here in Georgia we have two weeks of school left and parents are working on plans for their children going into Summer. Some kids will go see family for the Summer holiday. Some kids will go off to a long camping session. Some will sit at home and play, games, watch TV, and just crash. Still others will spend half the tinme in Summer School and then move on to other activities. Summer is not like it was for me when I was off in the late 70's and early 80's where I left home on my bike came home for lunch, left and did not get back until dinner. I then was gone again until dark. "Be hme before the street lights come on" was the the rule in our house. Now, kids do not have that much freedom so it falls to parents to help kids create great Summer vacays.

So here's where I suggest you start. Have you children take a multiple intelligence inventory there is a wonderful one by Scholastic here is the link to it. (By the way Scholastic has some great learning tools, I suggest you go online and do a parent registration!) Multiple intelligence is the use of what causes the brain to rev up and become activated in a way that exudes positive energy and allows people to thrive. I like to call it brain sparking.

I firmly believe that understanding your multiple intelligence allowed you to find out not only what you're good at doing and what excites your learning and life enjoyment. Having your children participate in activities, camps, and programs that allow them to feel the power of their brain at full engaement not only makes them happy.  It  gives them the tools needed to make their brains work better, faster, and more efficiently.

This Summer it is possible to give your children a lifelong gift. The gift of knowing what causes their brain to engage on all cylinders and thus enable them to think more clearly in both school and life. Understanding thier multiple intelligence is something they can carry forward into their future and be all the better for it.

Here are my thoughts for great ideas for multiple intelligences activities.


Logical/Mathematical-Space /Robotics/Coding 
Linguistic-Blogger/Spoken Word/Magazine Creation
Spacil-Photography/Moviemaking/Sculpture
Musical Band/Composition-music/Songwriting-lyrics
Bodily/Kinthestetic Soccer/Gynastiscs/Swimming
Nature-Gardening/Meterology/Conservation
Interpersonal Cooperative porjects/Lego Bulding/Debate
Intrapaersonal Knitting/Cooking/Crochet
Existejtial Problem-Solving/Mystery/Religion


Believe in Parenting

Want more information on Parenting? ptanda.org

Want more information on Multiple Intelligences check out my paper on it here: Multiple Intelligences: Build You and Your Team




Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Same Stage, Different Age!





In childhood there are two stages that are similar yet different in the way they need to be handled. The ages are those of two year olds and those of teenagers.  These two ages have very different abilities in self-care, yet share a common goal: Independence.

I can do it myself.  Many parents will remember this statement coming from the two year old who wanted to put on their own shoes. During the teen years it shows up by wanting to do more adult like behaviors.  It is important to recognize that wanting to do something versus being at a developmentally appropriate level to do it are two different things.  Teens especially young teens need to earn the privilege to do more adult-like activities. A child who can not take out the trash and clean-u up their room without nagging is not ready to spend unsupervised time with their friends.

Supervision, Supervision Parental supervision is the most important job when discussing a two year old, quiet in the house means trouble.  Most parents think that teens need less supervision. They need more. Teens are looking into the adult world with all the curiosity of a two year old.  They are looking into drinking, driving, smoking, sex, and other adult activities. These children are not more able to accept this responsibility that the two year old is ready to tie their own shoes. Parents do need to know who their teen’s friends are, who their parents are, where they are going and what they are doing.

Undivided Attention Children at both stages need time with their parents. Two year olds need this time to be held, read to, and reassured. Teens need this time to be mentored, comforted, and supported.  Parents who practice active listening really ensure teens have what they need. Active listening requires listening and not judging. Asking your teen,”Are you seeking advice or do you just need me to listen?” This question sets the stage for how you will listen. Teens also sometimes talk more in the midst of an activity. Go for cooking dinner, playing a board or card game, hiking, or walking.

Although, the age changes the temperament and personality do not change. Keep this in mind as you spend time with your teens. Treat them accordingly and you and your teen will come through the teen years with flying colors.


Believe in Parenting

Want more information? ptanda.org

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

You look out for the welfarae of your children! Are You Willing to Look out for oOther Children too?



Monday morning I was speaking to the Trainer of Volunteers for Fulton County CASA. She stated to me the serious nature of lack of support for her agency. There are approximately 13,000 children in custody in the state of Georgia; 1300 of them are in Fulton County. This means ten perscent of all the children in Georgia who need someone looking out for their best interest are her in Metro Atlanta. Currently, there are approximately 850 children who do not have a CASA volunteer looking out for their best interest.

WE NEED YOU!

I am attaching the link to the Fulon County CASA website here. Though there is a donate button and CASA is always glad to have your monetary donations. What the children of Fulton County need is for someone to be trained in how to help them and ensuare their best ibnterests are being emphasised before the court. They need an independant and well trined adult to speak for them in court.

There is a 40-hour training to be a volunteer. They are through in how they train people to serve the children in this capacity. This crisis can only be solved by adults who are willing to at least committ their time to be trained. Having gone through the training a person could then decide whether or not they would have the time and inclination to help. Please consider at the very least  going through the training.

Believe in Training

Monday, April 22, 2019

Brining Using Multiple Intelligence in Children’s Ministry Classrooms


Parents, Teachers and Advocates has seen and need over the last few years a need for churches to begin using educational strategies to help children grow and develop in children's ministry. We know that there are churches of less than a thousand members who cannot afford to bring in a speaker to train their children Ministry volunteers. So, we are partnering with Rabbi Kevin Solomon and Congregation Beth Hallel to bring this class to any smaller Church in the Atlanta area who would like to have their volunteers trained. The class entails the following:

Using Learning Styles in the Children’s Ministry Classroom
Curriculum
(2-hour/4-hour)
  • Learning Style Defined- Ice breaker students will begin the class by learning the basics of what learning styles are.
(15/20 minutes)

  • Definition of Multiple Intelligence In a mini-lecture students will learn about the eight forms of intelligences defined by Dr. Howard Gardner. (15/25 min)

  • Using Multiple Intelligence using a hand-on exercise studwents will discuss the eight forms of intelligence and how they have seen them used in their lives. (35/50 min)

  • Basics of Classroom Use students will discuss and develop ways for them to use learning styles in practical and ongoing manner. (35/50 min)

  • Using Curriculum to Plan Basic Use Each ministry uses a different curriculum. Looking at the format specific to the ministry. Students will use a lesson plan to create a multiple learning environment. (20/30 min)

  • Practice Classroom Environment and Use of Learning Styles Using the created plan students will then set up, create open ended questions and present to other classmate their plan for a multiple learning style classroom. (Only 4 hr. 1.5 hrs)

Monday, March 25, 2019

Quality infant care and what it looks like




In the early childhood srena infant care is the most expensive and most intricate of all tiled care. The main reason for this is that infants need individualized direct care.  there for there are fewer teacher to Children the ideal ratio in one teacher to for children. This ratio makes it possible for the teacher to not just feed and change a baby that also to have real true interaction with them helping them to work on aspects of an infant's development with them right where they are.


So here's a breakdown of what I think an infant room should be:

  1. Anyone injured room should be to remove their shoes put on Fox or pre-prepared how shoot and immediately go wash their hands.
  2. What they want their hands and put on a smog then and only then can they enter the infant room and catch babies.
  3. If they themselves have cold or some other kind of respiratory infection they should cover their mouth with a mask
  4. Everyone who comes in contact with the infants need to work really hard to ensure that they are kept well. 
  5. Breastfeeding moms should have a quiet private place to nurse.
  6. Teachers should be seen either on the floor with infant or holding them in rocking chairs or playing with them in some kind of way talking with them engaging with them reading to them showing them black and white pictures and colorful objects.
  7. You should find a lesson plan on the wall somewhere it should have individual children's named and an activity or page number something to let you know that the teachers are doing some kind of educational activity with each child.
  8. The staff should remain static only if there are lunches a teacher is sick or there's some other kind of training teachers in the infant room should be there always and Romaine the child teacher until they leave that classroom.
  9. Only parent and infant teacher should be allowed in the infant room at all times.
  10. You should be able to ask any teacher in the room what is the procedure for emergency evacuation and they should be able to tell you.
  11. Bottle should be warmed in a bottle warmer a Crock-Pot with water or an electric kettle with the big tub nearby that allows hot water to be used to warm bottles, bottle should never be warmed in a microwave.
  12. The diaper changing area should be meat and clean there should be a water solution that is 1 part bleach 3 Parts water used to clean the infant changing station.
  13. Hot and cold running water with soap should be close enough for Teacher to watch their hands without removing the the baby after changing.
  14. Babies who are walking should not be in the same space with babies who are not.
  15. When babies are awake they should be either in a carrier on the floor with other baby, on the floor on their tummies playing with objects, in their cribs playing with your hands and feet, or with the teacher. You should see babies in all of these places when you visit. If you see baby's only and carriers for every time you did that that's a warning sign.
  16. If you see baby to have balding spots in the back of their heads, and it's more than one baby that cost or warning sign that they spend most of the day in their carriers are car seats or laying on their backs in their cribs.
  17. Our teacher talking to baby as they change them this is a good time from language and Faith to Faith activity and teachers should be using it for such.
  18. Every Center should share information with you on how your child is doing daily. One of the most special ways that I have seen is an infant care room that used journals and wrote down more than just what the child 8 or whether or not they made use of their diaper. The teacher also shared their impressions of the child what exercises they were working on what cute things were done and took pictures Polaroid and take them into the journal so that it not only became a way for parent to learn about your baby during the day it also became a keepsake. The really cool thing about this journal is that it went back and forth between parent and teacher so that each one of them had a chance every day to write in until both the center and the home had really good ideas includes about what was going on with the baby every day.
  19. There should be information about infant care in the room for you to pick up teacher should share with you and be able to answer your questions about infants on a regular basis they deal with infants everyday.
  20. The infant room should be a comb and happy place you should hear music in the background teacher should be pleasant with one another it should be happy place a place that you want to stay and linger with your baby while you're there.

So if I was with you looking for child care on infant room that I would say yes this is where your child should be these are the 20 things that I would look for and expect in a high-quality infant room.

Taking care of infant is exacting and exhausting work. Teachers who love it though never work a day in their lives they just love an opportunity to be around babies all day
You want to get the sense from being in that room that that's exactly how they feel and they are looking out for and doing the very best possible job for DMV in their care. Ultimately this makes the very best high quality program. Teachers who are well-educated and love babies I want to do everything they can to help them grow and develop.

Believe in Parenting
Want more information ptanda.org

Want more information about quality child  care? Check out the book Choosing High-Quality Child Care!













Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Co-parenting-Coming Together Like a Sperm and an Egg



One of the things I've always found very interesting is that we have adults who are not marreiedand share their child in different households, and that's called co-parenting. I find that to be ironic because the truth is everybody co-parents.

There is this myth that exist in Western culture that parenting is somehow an innate behavior. The truth is we learned to parent from how our parents parented us. We take the sum of our childhood experiences and repeat those experiences with our own children. Now, if your parents were wonderful. loving, kind, supportive, and understood who you were meant to be then that is awesome!Because, you're going to be that same kind of parrot. However if your parents were mean-spirited, cold, unresponsive, neglectful, and vengeful the chances are you are going to raise your children the same way. Tthere are cases where this is not the case; my own father is a Case in point. Just understand that there are always exceptions to the rule.

I will point out this is not a doomsday prediction, it is afgterall why parent coaches exist. Here are some things to remember.


  1.  Every adult has the power to change the way they act, think. and behave; it is a choice. 
  2. This process is difficult because as I said before parenting is a learned behavior which means you have to unlearn some things and relearn others. 
  3. A parent coach is oone professional who can help you beging to navagate the changes you may want to make. 
  4. This is also what makes co-parenting so valuable; because you are not parenting alone you have a partner This partner is a person who is in this with you who wants you to be the best parent you for the sake of your children.






So here's an exercise what emphasizes the most important parts of co-parenting. That is having a clear erstanding of the household your spouse grew up in. I encourage take a day or two and think about the following question and then come together and talk about it.

The best/worst thing about growing up in my house with my parents was...

 Here is how I recommend you go through the process.


  1. When you talk about it the atmosphere is really important. Talk in a quiet plaxce where you both feel safe and cozy. This is probably going to be one of the most intimate conversations you will have in your realtionship. 
  2. Be courteous and really listen, observe body language, and hear the emotions your spouse is feleting as they share about how they grew up. Is it something they want to repeat or is it something they want to change? Sometimes even the things that seemed good did not necessarily felt that way growing up.
  3.  Get really transparent with each other about how you grew up and what your household was really like and then give each other love, comfort, and understanding around those tough issues. Celebragte and laugh about the happy and joyous times.
  4. After sharing these thoughts and feelings give it a couple of weeks maybe even a month, but then come back together and talk about how you wamt tp raise your family together. 
Ask these questions
  1. What are some of the things that you really want to repeat and make a tradition in your own household?
  2.  What are some of the things that you absolutely do not want to repeat, and do not want in your family?
Create a Parenting Pact


  1.  Talk about these things 
  2. Write them down J
  3. old each other accountable 
  4. Make a plan to review this at least yearly 
Our views change becayse we read, gain more information through talk-shows, and onversations. Parenting at it's root is a relationship between parent and child. Children have different relationshps with each parent. This is neither good nor bad it just the way things are. Revising these things in an open and honest conversation keeps you on the same page and helps your children know what the boundares are because they get the same answer from each of you.

I will say it again everybody co-parents. The thing about it, is you could do it wisely by talking it through, offering each other support, and being on the same page. Or you could fight one another never seeing eye to eye on what it means to parent. I would pick the former it us for the best. Good luck!

Believe in Parenting

Want more information ptanda.org

Friday, February 22, 2019

Moms of Compassion Community Forum Tour of Georgia



Hello I am so excited to be a part of a phenomenal group of women Sheneeza Volcova, Corey Lowe, April Ward, and I are the hoSts of a new Christian Television Network and Queen Water Network talk show called Moms of Compassion. This is a project of His Kindness Foundation and is a nonprofit work to combine our mission of serving Christian community by bringing everyday issues into their living rooms and then getting them to come out of their houses to meet as a group to provide the answers they need through outreach, subject matter experts and people in the community who want to help and support families as they are empowered to turn and help someone else to come throught the same issues.

This concept is unique. Because we are not just working to produce a television show. We are r3eaching into the homes of hurting poeople and then bringubg the answers they need abd are looking for with our Moms of Campassion Tour.

I want to share the fact that our first community forum is going to take place on March 14th 2019 acting East Roswell Recreation Center from 6 to 8 p.m. ourfocus  is on the needs of special needs children, their families, and how the church can support families who need it.

I can tell you that we are looking for service providers, support group leaders, families with special-needs children, churches who want to support them, respite agencies, and the general public who are looking to be able to  help these families, to come and be a part of the conversation.

We do have vendor and sponsorship opportunities if you're interested and we would really like to have at least 30 vendors. There is room for everyone we want to make your service known to those families who need you. Here is a link to the information.

As I stated earlier this Moms of Compassion Special Needs community forum is coming  to a city in Georgia near you. If you are a parent, provider, respite organization, or physician. We would like to speak to you about being a Keynote Speaker for one of these events near you.  If you have questions please contact me at Barbara@andbabyco.com or Sheneeza Volcova at info@hiskindnessfoundation.com.

If this idea intrigues you, but you can not participate in person. We would appreciate a donation to our Fundly page here is that link.


Here are our tour dates (more details to come):


Roswell 3/14/19

Macon 4/18/19
Augusta 4/25/19


Columbus6/6/19
Albany 6/20/19
Athens 8/22/19
Chattanooga 8/29/19
Savannah 10/24/19
Valdosta 10/17/19


Special needs parents are a unique breed of people they love their children and they do everything they can to help them become as and dependent as possible.

Please come out and support them because if you're like me and you believe in parenting then the best thing we can do is offer loving kindness and support to pair to have one of the toughest jobs on the planet.

Believe in parenting!

Thursday, February 14, 2019

It is time for the church to take her head out of the sand!

Hello, as many of you have probably seen on Facebook and Linkedin, I am one of four host on a new show coming to Christian Television and Queen Ester network in Macon, Georgia. The show is called Moms of Compassion. It is our goal to bring to the forefront of Christian living the struggles, hardships, and needs that the church has been ignore for decades.

These issues are as follows:

Special needs children, mental illness, alcoholism, drug abuse,spousal abuse, child abuse, sex trafficking, pornography, abortion, and many others.

I can tell you that after communing with the Holy Spirit, He is not happy. He called us to the Earth to be His hands and feet to bring hurting people comfort, support, aid, to bind up there wounds, to get in the trenches and help them. To work with and be led by Him to the remedies to help people deal with what's going on in their everyday world.

Instead, we have abandoned them,  looked down on them with our pride and log filled eyes. It is time for us to take our heads out of the sand. It is time for us to recognize that we have failed to love one another. To really love and care for the least of us. It is time to wake up and be about our Father's business.

Moms of Compassion is a television talk show dedicated to Bringing these issues to the forefront through conversations and then getting out into the community and bringing forth solutions, information, support, and resources for people who need them.

I recently heard the story of a special-needs family whose child admittedly an older child accidentally soiled himself at church. Did the church respond in a loving and caring way? Letting the parents know that even though the child was older, we recognize and he has special needs and he may not have all the capabilities of other children. No, you Guessed It they asked that family to leave the church and not bring that child back. The left foot of fellowship!

It makes me ashamed to call myself a Christian  because they do. It just adds another layer to the line Christians are the only ones who shoot their own wounded. It is time for the Bride of Christ to stop acting like a bunch of lily-livered wimps and stand up and come against the enemy with everything in us and love  know another, and hurting people with everything in us.

I know this post is a rant and I'm sorry. For those of you who follow me I know you know that my heart is to help and support people. To give people especially parents the tools and resources they need to do an exceptional job with their children.

It is my hearth desire to see the church step up and become exceptional  in how they care for God's  people.

Believe

Friday, January 25, 2019

Why the Parents of Premies need to Visit Their Local Socttish Rite?



On a Saturday September  I got a chance to hang out with a friend at Congregate Beth Hallel where we attend. She is the grandmother of  5 kids on the Autistic Spectrum. She told me something I knew, but had not really considered autism effects each child differently and what works for one child will not work for antoher. Because the disorder effects different people with different modes of challenges.

It made me see that Autism is a disorder with many faces. One thing I have learned is that most pre-mature infants who spend tie in the Nursery Intensive Care Unit (NICU) will mostl ikey be somewhere on the autistic spectrum. This was interesting for me to find out; because I was born premature in 1965. I can see that at times I can fail to read social cues, sometimes I actively ignore them, but there are times when I fail to ecognize them at all. It has not hindered my life overall though. I tend to make friends easily, and my three closets frends I have had since my teens.

Autism is not a one size fits all disorder it has a spectrum. It might be a mild form like me who misses occasional social cues or servere like a child who has no visible sign of communication with the outside world. This is why I recommend that parents who have premies go to their local Scotish Rite Hospital and learn about the variou services in your city for autism. Many children do not begin to show signs of autism until about 12-18 months. However, as the saying goes an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Since we know premies are much more likely to suffer from the autistic spectrum getting the information, tips, and suggestions on working wiath a child to improve the outcomes of this possibility is imperative. You need to know the signs to look for and get help immediately. The sooner interventions are in place the better the outcome for your child.


The reason I recommend the Scotish Rite hospital is they they specialize in the care of children with special needs everything from with physical needs, to speach and language issues, and social/emotional challenges they deal with it all. It is a good place to start to seek out resources and find support. If your child was born premature it is essential that you find a high-quality center that uses the Ages and Stages Qustionnaire to do a yearly baseline on children's development. It is this instrument that is likely to show any issues in developmental lag. You can also use this instrument, however the professinals you are working with should also be using it to help you spot issues so intervention can be immediate.

If you are looking for a center which does great work in this area already check your local area for an Easter Seals child care center. Easter Seals does great work with young children who have all kinds of siabilities much like Scottish Rite Hospitals. They also provide parental and other family support services.

I know your sweet baby is precious to you and having been in the NICU was difficult and you just want your life to get back to normal. However, it is important for you to recognize that coming into the world early is going to effect and affect your child their whole lives. However, the more services and interventions you put in place while they are young; the better the outcome will be for them when they are older. There is support out there for you! Your best support are the professionals and other parents who have been there. Get help now so you can begin to know what to do. Overwhekm is mitigated by knowledge. Arm yourself now and you will be ready to face any challenge which might come later!

Believe in Parenting


Thursday, January 17, 2019

Women the forgotten victims: How God Loves You!



Tomorrow many thousands of people will walk in the streets of Washington DC for the 46th Annual March for Life.Here in Georgia the gathering will be held on January 22 at Liberty Plaza at the Georgia Capital. I have been a pro-life supporter since the age of 16, when I did a report on the affects of abortion on women. After working in a crisis pregnacy center I have concluded that women as well as their babies are both vicims in this violent, cruel, and life destorying process.

In every war there are casulaties many people in this particular fight talk about mercy and compassion, but what is lost in the war of words is the fact that there are millions of women who are living with the fallout of the horrors, emotions, biological and mental effects of having had an abortion. Even as I wrote my paper in 1983 there was massive research on how abotion negatively effects the women who have them. It included everything from abortion psycosis to brest and ovarian cancer. However, this post is not about thet. This post is to remind women that God cares about you and what you have been through and He has long since forgiven you for the choice you made and it is now time to forgive yourself.

I realize I am not talking to every women who has gad this procedure; but there are enough of you I think need to hear this. There is only one unpardonable sin and having an abortionn is not it. The God of Heaven who sent His only Son to die for your sins on the cross is reaching His arms out to you and loving you as Hid daughter. He wants to help youheal your mind and emotions from this choice you have made. Romans 8:38 says:

38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k]neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of Godthat is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This measns the choice you made to have an abortion can not separate you from His love. But, at the same time you have to choose to turn to Him and get the forgiveness He has already granted you. The truth is that your baby is with Him and thoughthey only lived within you for a short-time they will live forever in the world where time is no longer relevant. When you turn to Him and reeive the forgiveness the Messiah purchased for you on the cross the end result is you will get to see your child in the world that existed before time and will exist long after time is no more.

I have spent years praying for women on both sides of this tragic decision,those who are considering making this choice and the women who have made the decision to go throughwith it. I have come to love them all. Life is hard and no matter the reason this choice was made the pain of it can last a lifetime and cripple the women who make it. But, God does not want that. He wants women to heal from this tragic circumstance and receive His love. He wants them to heal; so they can move forward and do what He has sent them to the Earth to accomplish.

I encourage you to cry out to, speak to, and reach out for the love of the great Father of Lights who wants to heal you and make you whole again. All you have to do is ask Him for help. Is is as simple as saying; "God, I know you have forgiven me. Help me to forgive myself."

If you need someone to talk to you can feel free to reach out to me. I will listern and prey with and for you. Blessing on you and I hope this blog will help you to begin the healing process. You can be whole again all you need to do is ask.

Love, peace, and joy.

Barb