Saturday, September 19, 2015

Master Parenting Part Three: The Soul

The soul is a part of ourselves we often do not connect with on a regular basis. This is very sad because our emotional intelligence stems from the soul. There are three segments of the soul. Our mind, will and emotions. These three parts of us help us to connect with ourselves and others. The soul is what makes us unique and an individual it is also the part of us which needs to connect with others on a meaningful level.

Mind -The mind is where our conscious and unconscious lives are lived. There is a Jewish proverb which says "As a man thinks, so he becomes". Our thoughts and beliefs are the bedrock of how we live our lives and the main reason we have a hard time changing. Before a person can change he/she must examine how they are thinking or feeling about a topic. This is especially true in becomingva better parent. Parenting is a learned skill, usually at the feet of our own parents. But, what if you do not like some or even most of the way you were raised. I have spoken to many adult who feels both shocked and stunned when they hear something coming out of their mouths they promised themselves never to say to their own children. This happens because adults need to not only make this promise, but to develop a different way of thinking on purpose. The subconscious neefs to be reprogrammed. This takes time, effort, and concious deliberate change. The main thing is to monitor  your own thoughts as you are working on the change and change the thought by saying out loud what you want your thoughts to be. This process works on many levels and is a good strategy for changing your mind.

Will-The will is the part of us which both desires and decides our course of action. There are people with all kinds of temperaments. Some are very meek and willing to go with the flow while others are strong-willed and often must be coerced or pushed into submission. However, most of us fall sonewhere in between.

Emotions-Are all about our feelings. There is a big trend right now around Emotional Intelligence. I believe this is because we in the Western World have separated our thoughts from our feelings as if they are two different things. However, as I am pointing out here in fact they are part of the same part of us. the soul.

Being a Master PaParent starts with understanding ourselves and what we think, feel, believe. It is also effected by our health, fatigue, stress, and other things which effect us on a physical manner.

Creating space in our lives to think, talk, read, and take care if our souls in many ways are both missing and frowned upon in our society. Yet, our lives are strongly effected by our mental, physical, and emotional health.

I think when we take time to take care of our souls, we become healthier more authentic people. Because of this people automatically become better at most everything, most especially parenting.

Parenting first, foremost, and always is about establishing a strong and deeply connected relationship with each child. This is much more easily accomplished when an adult has a loving, supportive, and forgiving relationship with themselves.

So, how does one go about creating a good relationship with themselves?

1. Take good care of your body. Honestly, this is personally, my biggest struggle. We all know what to do. Let's be honest. Go to the doctor at least once a year, the dentist twice, eat plenty of fruits, veggies, and lean meats, drink mostly water, get 2 hours of exercise a week, and get 7-8 hours of rest a night. This is the basics of a healthy physical lifestyle, yet most of us hit or miss, this on aa regular basis. If I told you in the next twenty years your children will pretty much be in the exact shape physically you are today, because how yoy live they will live. For decades, people have been trying to educate into or out of a whole host of things, but the research shows 85% of children live the lives their parents did. Your example is your kids future.

2. Mind we all learn differenly. Understanding how you learn is a large part of health in this area. I encourage every person to go onlune and take a multiple intelligence inventory. Once, you understand how you learn it opens up your world.

Mental health is also an important aspect of this area. There are 25-33%  of people in our world who are on some spectrum of a mental or  physical chemical imbalance. These folks need to be under the care of a physician no differently, than a diabetic or a hemophiliac patient.  They rest of us need to monitor our stress, depression, and mental clarity. I recommend once a month sitting down with a friend or significant other and talking about your thoughts and feelings regarding these issues. If you think you could use more support get it.

3. Emotional health starts by not ignoring or glossing over how you feel.  This article gives you feeling words for every letter of the alphabet. Start by putting this list on your refrigerator for a while at least once a day look at the list and desribe how you feel. The purpose of this exercise is to help you start to both recognize what you are feeling and to be able to clearly put those feelings into words.

Being a Master Parent is all about helping yourself to become more and more authentically in tune with who, you are and your mind, will, and emotions. You can do this!

Believe in Parenting

If you missed the first two blogs, here are the links.

Are you a Maestro in Parenting

Master Parenting Part Two

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