Bedtime Routines & The Rabbit Who Wants to fall Asleep

Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin is a Swiss  psychologist who spent many years studying sleep and is reported to have worked diligently to get his theories put into the right order to help children fall asleep. A story in the Daily Mail recounts his journey.

According to the reports it works and works well. A father recently posted a YouTube video of what happened as he read it to his son. Many are concerned about this book however, being an Early Childhood professional I can tell you children often need help in learning to fall asleep. Anyone with a toddler can tell you they only have two speeds full speed and sleep. They can literally be running full tilt one minute and then crashed out asleep on that same floor a moment later. Because infants sleep so much it may seem to many that sleeping is an innate behavior. Many times as in the case of toddlers the body just shuts down. However, getting in bed and going to sleep is not an innate practice; children have to learn good sleeping habits.  The beauty of Dr. Ehrlin's book is not just the bedtime story itself. But, that the story teaches children how to fall asleep.

Psychology is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behavior in a given context. So, who better than a person who studies how the mind works to help teach your children to sleep. Another beloved author created a book about sleep. Dr. Seuss Sleep Book is a classic and I love it. This shows me even after all these years children need help learning to fall asleep. Actually, many adults have this problem too. Try Dr. Ehrlin's book. Perhaps you will by as in the end of Dr. Seuss's book number 99 zillion 9 billion and 4. Hear Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book read on YouTube. It is a fact many parents will need to teach their children how to fall asleep. I hope this tool called The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep  will help you to do so faster and easier.

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Reading Is Fundamental

During the 1970's the campaign called Reading Is Fundamental, the goal of this program was to get kids reading. many you 40+ may remember LeVar Burton, talking about how important reading is in life. RIF is now according to their web page. Reading Is Fundamental (RIF) is the largest children’s literacy nonprofit in the United States

Their mission: 

To motivate young children to read by working with them, their parents, and community members to make reading a fun and beneficial part of everyday life. RIF's highest priority is reaching underserved children from birth to age 8.

Why is this important? One reason it is called the School to Prison Pipeline! By now I am sure you have heard the U. S. Prison system uses Third grade reading score to determine the number of prison cells which will be needed in the future. The general concern us I have heard is how can we get the prison system to change. My response to this is, WHAT! The question is we know what the issue is. How can we fix it. The answer? Make sure we get on board with RIF's mission and ensure every child can read on the Third grade level in Third grade!

Here is how we do that:

1. Every child care center in the nation gives parents who come into their program information on what they can do to improve literacy with children. Including reading in front of them, to them, and with them. W

2.  Every community programs giving clients who come to them information on local family reading centers, which help low and non-reading adults improve their skills.

3. Creating special programs which allow third graders not reading on level to get there before moving on.

4. Ensuring children I early childhood c are gaining the emotional intelligence skills needed to thrive in the early years of Elementary school.

5. Make sure we are using a variety of learning styles while teaching reading including hands-on interaction with letters.

6. Providing every school in the nation with a variety I of bilks about fiction and non-fiction topics.

These things will not help children who are older and can not. Reader need other strategies to help them. But, if we start with. These measures now we can at least stop any new cases from starting down the pipeline.

When the Authorities Cause More Harm than Good

There are times when the authorities cause more harm than is necessary. In, recent history there have been stories where children have been taken into custody and transported away from the place where their parents told them to be asin the case of the Metiv's children. Children undertheage of eight placed in hand-ifs like Patrick  and Selecia hear in Georgia. Even a nine year old arrested and taken into custody. We have gone liturgical and it is more than just people filing behaviorfrivolous lawsuits. It is the criminalization of normal childhood behavior. This is a major problem because in essence it points to the fact it is adult expectations which are the issue.

When I was growing up I was told policemen are the community helpers that help to protect us. If you have a problem you can go to them for help. I ask you after what happened tp them are these two children and many like them going to believe what I did as a child.

On this blog I have spoken a lot about aagencies whose responsibility it is to look out for child welfare overzealous attempts to protect children and actually causing more harm.

So, what needs to happen to improve these situations?

1.  We need to rrequire all public service employees (police, social workers, doctors) who may come into contact with chiodren to take a child development course.
2. School authorities should be required to take child focused conflict resolution training, every two years.
3. There needs to be a more discussions in the public discourse about proper expectations for children from ages three to seventeen.
4. We need to reverse the criminalization of children's behavior including tantrums, pranks, and immature behavior.

How does this effect parenting?

We are all in this together. Parents need to have as much knowledge and understanding about children and development as anyone.

1. Know what is acceptable for your child's age and ability level.

2. Be in monyhly contact with your child's teacher.

3. Speak up at city council meetings about police being trained on dealing with children.

Write op-ed pieces to your local paper regarding thisissues incolving school, officers, and others engaging children.

4. Create a support group for families who have been negatively affected by government interaction with children.

5. Get a local church to sponsor programs for officials to talk about any issues and suggest positive and doable solutions.

6. Encourage the increase and availability of PParent Education in your community.

7. Find a local parent educator willing to work with all to create viable options.

8. Stand up for yourself and other parents to fully and independently engage in effective parenting.

The authorities I believe mean well. However, they can see so much negative things happening in their sphere, they tend to forget the are seeinf the exceptions and not the norms. It is all of our job to remind them of this and to help them to remember. 

Back to School: Understanding Multiple Intelligence

Understanding Intelligence

Each of us has a primary, secondary, and tertiary form of intelligence. Dr. Howard says each of us have all nine. However, we all have some which are stronger. This is important because the more we engage in activities and practices which spark our brains the better we think and are prepared to learn new information.

The following Multiple Intelligence Inventory is designed to help you tap into your top three intellectual bents and begin to use them to help you empower your brain to engage.

     Understanding one’s intellectual bent is of utmost importance.  Learning especially in childhood is the primary function of life.  It affects our comprehension of information and the ability to put it into use. 

     Parents need to know how their teen’s brain engages best.  This is important on several fronts.  First of all, what parenting is the training of teens to become fully functioning adults requires the trainer (parent) know the best way to impart learning.  This is seriously needed when trying to teach right from wrong, setting boundaries, and instituting expectations.  A child whose brain is engaged through reading might get a better understanding of these things through a parental letter or a book on the topic.  However, a child who brain engages through music might get it better if the parent puts it in a rap or has the teens put the expectations into a song. Also, it allows parents to set up the home to promote all kinds of learning for their teens.

     Secondly, in helping the child to become more self-aware, knowing their own brain engagement will help teens especially older ones to set up homework, or learning times in a way which is best for them.  For instance, someone who brain is at its best through naturalistic means might have a higher learning curve studding outdoors, or with a cd of nature sounds in the background.

     Third, and perhaps just as important as the others maybe more is explaining to the child’s teacher how she can set up the classroom to meet the intellectual bent of your child; allowing both the home and the school environment to support the principles life-long learning.

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While at Home Practice Good Health

Corvid-19 has many people concerned which is nomal. However, health demands we focus on other things. However, we need to change our focus. I suggest we focus on being in good health. Stress tends to make people either stress eat or stress starve. Neigher is good for our health. This blog I wrote a few years ago I am now using as a reminder. Take care of yourself!

Body, Soul, and Spirit are the make up of each individual person. Each aspect of a persons being needs a particular form of care. What we all need is similar however it varies in terms of physical, emotional, and mental make up. This blog post is focused on the body. The body is your physique; the form, size and make up of your person. There are five areas of care when it comes to your body: eating, drinking, exercise, sleep/rest, going to see medical professionals.

EATING-We tend to eat things that taste good and feed the stomach but not the body. Did you know it is possible to feed the stomach and still starve the body? We do it everyday. If you tend to eat primarily carbs and meat and rarely eat fruits and vegetables, guilty. If you eat at a fast food joint more than four times a week, guilty. If you eat foods and vegetables primarily non-organic (genetically modifiedFoods), guilty. If you do most of your grocery shopping down the aisles and not on thr permeates, guilty. In other words the American diet. During the ten minutes I studied nursing I took organic chemistry. It is the study of the bodies processing on a cellular level. I learned no matter what we ingest it all gets broken down into molecules which are combined with others to feed the cells. The body needs certain molecules which only comes from plants in order to process certain foods. In addition plants tend to contain at a cellular level not only the nutrients we need but the enzyme the body needs to properly absorb the nutrients. So, what I am saying is your Mama was right you need to eat your veggies.  Organic, local and fresh is best. Organic frozen is next. Organic canned. If you can not eat organic local fresh or frozen is your best choice. Red meat is all that bad, but grass fed beef is less likely yo have hormones. The same is true of free range poultry.
  
DRINKING-Water intake is most important here. The average person should drink half their body weight in ounces every day. They used to say eight, eight ounce glasses. But, that was when the average woman weighed between 120 &130 pounds. Now that weight varies so much this is the standard. You can drink other things as well coffee, tea, juices are better than soda, fruit punches or kook-aid. You can cut down on juice by doing half water half juice. If you are going to drink diet soda try Zevia it is made with stevia a natural sugar substitute. It is available in most health food stores and many Kroger's carry it.

EXERCISE- there are three typesofexercise you should incorporate in your routine you can alternate getting them in 30 minutes a day. Cardiovascular this includes walking, running, swimming, bike riding, skating and aerobic classes. Muscle Stregnthening which includes weight training isometrics, and body building. And finally stretching,. This includes yoga, Pilates, ballet exercises, and general stretching. For people who have trouble with body movement I recommend T-Tapp a form of exercise which encompasses all of the above.

SLEEP/REST-we Americans also fail to get enough rest. The average adult needs ten hours of rest a day. This includes eight hours of sleep and two hours of rest. Please note I said needs not gets. Many people tend to think sleep is a waste of time. But, in fact our bodies are working hard on the cellular level as we are in sleep mode. While awake our bodies, do not do the self-maintaining it needs to keep the body running at peak effiency. It is too busy in wake mode keeping us conscious, thinking processing information etc.  When we sleep the body, finishes processing our food and deliver needed nutrients to the cell. Disposes of red and white blood cells which are not needed and produce new ones. Creates new hormones for the body to use. Gets rid of old skin and hair cells. Grows new skin and bone as needed. It fights off illness to prevent us from gettingsick, cleanses organs like the gall bladder, kidneys, and liver. Along with a whole host of other things which would take up pages which OI do not have. Let me just say sleep is important. There is a blog piece I wrote earlier this year on how teens are greatly influenced by their parents sleep habits. I note this because I want to reinforce the fact-children live what they see modeled. If you want your children to have good sleeping habits do what you want them to do!Rest-take time to just relax and be quiet sometime during the day and insist your children do too. I suggest a quiet half hour after everyone gets home. No video games or electronics. Just activities like reading coloring, looking at magazines napping, daydreaming etc.

Mental Health-Mental wellness comes from focusing on the positive. In these times that is easier said than done. I think we start by choosing to limit our news intake to no more than 1 hour per day. This will give us enough time to know what is happening without it overloading us. Then choose to think about and do things that mmake you happy and content. Focus on getting your work done and get satisfaction from what you are doing. Spend time engaging in your favorite hobby or start a new one. Play gtames with your kids. Watch some comedies. Have long phone, skype, or FB chats with family and friends. FStart a gratitude jornal. Chosse to be as positive as possible!

 MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS-this is an easy one. I am just going to say it. Go! Doctor, dentist, eye doctor, ENT, etc

Self-care is one of the things children catch from observing their parents. We rarely talk about taking care of ourselves or not. We just do or don't. For the sake of your kids do. Children deserve to have healthy, happy parents.

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Want more? ptanda1.org

Medical Child Abuse: What Parents Need to Know

A New York Times opinion piece in the July 11th paper talks about the rise of  cases in the accusations of Medical Child Abuse. Maxine Eichner the author is the mother of a medically fragile child. As a parent and child advocate this causes me great concern. As a child I was medically fragile. Knowing what my mother went through rushing me to the hospital again and again from the seizures I was constantly having after beating new born at seven months and weighing in at 2 pounds 5 ounces in 1965. It breaks my heart to think of her being forced to hand me over to the state for bringing me to the hospital too often. Many parents who have medically fragile children, who have been missed or sometimes even correctly diagnosed are suffering this indignity.

Often this issue is with parents who are seeing a specialist who has diagnosed a child. Then for some reason the child sees another doctor who disagrees with the diagnosis. The second doctor can then notify authorities regarding medical neglect. Although, parents have an actual diagnosis, and the name of their specialist, authorities still take children into custody. The thing which really makes my blood boil is when so called Judges refuse to hear all the medical history. This leaves a he said, she said Area for doubt because they are without all of the information. These are children's lives we are talking about. Allowing a medically ill child to be removed from both medicine which treats them and while at the same time keeping them from their parents is the cruelest and most evil of ways to treat children.

There is a quote from the article:

"The task force identified these warning signs of medical child abuse: a “highly attentive parent” who is “unusually reluctant to leave his/her child’s side”; a parent who “demands second and third opinions”; a parent who “is not relieved or reassured when presented with negative test results and resists having the child discharged from the hospital”; and a parent who has “unusually detailed medical knowledge.” These warning signs accurately describe many, if not most, loving parents of medically fragile children."

Ms. Eichner is correct. A parent whose child has receive a diagnosis for a medically fragile child is going to find out everything they can and talk about it with the doctors. THIS IS BOTH DAMAGING AND DETRIMENTAL! 

So, what is a parent to do? Here are my suggestions:

Doctors
Choose your Doctors carefully
Starting with your pediatrician. 
Stay with your doctors long term
Make appointments with Doctors over the phone


Records
If you notice something you think is abnormal, take note write down what you see date and time
Keep records together 
Organize. Them by doctors name
Put most recent records in front
Carry your records to each appointment 
Allow copies to be made but keep originals or carry copies with you to give to necessary medical personnel 

Support People
Ask Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, School Nurse, Coaches, and others to look out for. And note anything they see
If your child is ill and diagnosed with a particular syndrome join a support group
Also go see an attorney who specializes in medical issues. If the worst happens you want someone who already knows you and is familiar with your case. As they used to say an ounce of prevention is worth more than the cure!

I really appreciate Saint Jude's slogan:

Thank God for the healthy children in your life, and give to the ones who are not.

We who have healthy children in our lives need to offer our care and support to  

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Using Time Out to Teach Self-calming Techniques

Time out has been used ineffectively for decades.It was designed to give children a chance to calm down and relax. It was never meant to be a disciplinary tool. When I teach time out to parents I especially talk about time out being something adults model, taking time to separate yourself  to do an activity wehre you can unwind. I suggest all people can get overwhelmed. Adults can verbalize to their children,  "I need a time out". Then go to their favorite chair or their favorite spot. Sit down and do an activity which calms them. I suggest reading a book or magazine, listdning to quiet music, knitting,taking a 15 minute power nap or any activity which is relaxing to them.

Some years ago I shared this with a class in the Fall. The following Spring when I did another session a Mom who hand been modeling this shared the following story.

The family had decided to get together for the holidays. For the first time in years both sets of Grandparents were coming to stay from Christmas through New Year's. The Mom's eight year old daughter was very excited. She was pretty antsy so they decided to make cookies. They got all the ingredients ready and were about to start when the daughter who was bouncing on her toes suddenly stopped; looked at her Mom and said, "Mommy can we make the cookies in a few minute?. I think I need a time out." Shocked Mom nodded. She waited a minute or two and went to find her. She found her curled up in the window seat in their family room, looking at one of her books. She didn't say anything just went back to the kitchen. When her daughter came back about 15 minutes later. She said, "Ok, I'm ready. I'm so excited about Big Daddy and G'Mama, and Poppy, and Granny coming I was getting too excited."

Mom was so proud of her daughter not only had she recognized her feelings. She was able to use what she observed her Mom had modeled to self calm and move on with her day.
This was a day she loved being a parent.

Time outs can be a great way to give your children a tool to avoid needing discipline. Self calming is something we all need to do at one time or another. Model it!

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