Monday, January 5, 2015
Parenting: Am I Doing it Right?
Parents today often wonder if they are doing a good job. Many worry about what their child could be getting into add to that bullying, sexing, social media etc. the world feels like a much more dangerous space. The truth? Parenting is first and foremost the relationship you take the time to build with each child.
Every child is different. They have differing personalities, temperaments, gifts,talents and abilities. Learning to love, accept, and appreciate each child as an individual is what great parenting is all about. Every parent has the same goal to help their children grow in to adults; who are happy, capable, caring, and contributing to make the world a better place. This takes three things: relationship, guidance and belief.
Relationship as mentioned earlier is about making connections. Every child needs a parents undivided attention everyday. This time should be simply about connecting not discipline or teaching. Reserve this time for talking or diving a shared enjoyable activity. Each child also needs extended time more than a half hour of time with each parent at least three times a month.
Guidance depending on the age of the child guidance includes listening, advice giving, talking through a problem together, counseling, or comforting. It really depends on the situation. It is always the proper practice to soothe then to apply consequences. Children should be able to come to you with a problem and get your empathy and compassion. If they also need discipline and consequences let that take second place. When in doubt always put relationship first.
Belief in both yourself and your children is imperative in creating and sustaining an environment of peace, great guidance, and joy. Believing in yourself and your parenting demands two things first is to to be authentic and take care of yourself. Maintain balance is also an important part of belief. As a parent, you are also a spouse, sibling, employee, friend etc. Making time for all of these roles and giving each one space allows you to live all aspects of your life. Belief in you ability to maintain balance means you will. It is when you convince yourself you can not life becomes unbalanced. .
The second thing you need to set the example in life you want your children to meet and exceed. 85% of what children learn and become in life is what they watch their parents do and become. Therefore, if you wanty your children to grow up and follow heir dreams you have to do it first! As Oprah used to say "you must becom your best self". In order, for your children to become their best selves. Many people think adults following their own dreams is selfish and irresponsible. TYhis is only tyrue if you follow your dreams at the cost of your family; instead of for your family. You can not run off to Hollywood to pursue your dreams, but you can start auditioning at the local playhouse. Or you may not run off to Now York yo styaryt your cooking show, but you can create a YouTube channel.
Parenting is not about doing it right. It is about being t5rue to yourself, building a strong relationship wityh your kid, and living a life you would be proud for them to emulate and succeed in tyheirs.
Belief in Parenting