Welcome to Week 11
This week we are moving into looking at our spiritual development. Our ability to belief in something greater than ourselves. In the beginning of our lives it it our fathers who are our examples of who and what a higher power can be in our lives. It is our relationship with him, which gives us the belief that either we have a loving and caring higher power, or a higher power which is missing, uncaring or even mean and demeaning. Believe it or not the absence of our fathers in the Western World is a direct correlation of our ever growing distance with a life based on faith.
The ability to believe in something bigger, stronger, more loving, and kinder is based on whether our father played this kind of ole in our lives. Therefore, the role he played or did not play in our lives has a large powerful role in our authenticity. This week is a exercise in examination of the role your father played in your life as a child.
My Dad was in the Army. So, family for me was primarily Mom and Dad. Though we did spend some time with family while he was in Vietnam. My Dad was always there. One of the saddest think I ever heard my Dad say is "My father divorced my mother and me when I was 12." He was determined not just to be there for us, but to be involved in our lives. I do not ever remember a time I could not depend on him.It is these memories which helped me to form my belief in something bigger more dependable and more faithful than I. Our relationships with our fathers often determine how we enter the world and what kind of thinking we have about doing so.
I only want for you to answer the following questions in your journal and spend the week thinking about your life with your father growing up. What was it like? How did it shape you then? How does remembering effect you now?
If your father for some reason was not in your life there are questions at the end for you to use. Okay, here are your questions.
What was it like growing up in your house?
What did your father treat with your Mom? You? Your siblings?
Was your father the disciplinarian?
What was the best thing about growig up in your house? The worst?
Did your father support you emotionally? Could you go to him with questions and concerns?
If you could say one thing to your father about the way he was in your childhood?
Do you know if your father is proud of you? Are you proud of him?
An Absent Father
Why was your father absent? Did he die? Did he leave? Did your Mom push him away?
Did you have a father figure in your life? Was this person someone you could substitute and use your relationship with him to answer the above questions?
As a child how did you feel when you saw others with their father's?
What did you dream your father was like?
What did you miss most about having a father?
How do you think him not being there affected you then? Now?
If you could sit down with your father now what would you say: Ask?
This week will be extremely easy or extremely difficult. Very rarely is it somewhere in the middle. This is okay because though society would like to say Father's are the "extra" parent nothing could be further from the truth. We all want to know, be known by, and love our Fathers. Some of us get that chance and others of us do not. But, ultimately it is our fathers who prepare us to be able to face the world with the ability to see it as a place we can step into with a sense of wonder and an ability to meet any challenges head on!
Believe in Parenting