Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Sometimes the answer is: 'Because I Said So'

I remember being a kid and my Dad saying "because I said so". As a kid I said I will never say that to my kids. That was before I reached adulthood and realize that sometimes that is the only answer. One of my favorite ages is the curious, questioning, adorable, laughing 4-year-old. This is the age of the infinite list of questions and where many parents are endlessly answering questions. Why? Where? When? Next, there are those times when your eight-year-old really wants to do something ridiculous like build a treehouse on their own in the tree in the backyard. You discuss doing it together and they they do not need either help or supervision. Then the greatest of all challenges the teen who wants to go to the  rock concert 500 miles away with a group of unsupervised kids.

These are all times when parents may drag out the dreaded statement by all kids.

Because I said so!

Do you feel guilty for using it sometimes. Of course. This past Saturday Rabbi Kevin Solomon made the point; it is about the fact that you simply have lived longer and know a few more things our kids do not. Sometimes we need to assert our authority, not because we want to "Lord it" over our children. But, simply because it is our job to keep them safe and see dangers that exist from benefit of having lived longer than our children have lived.

I am writing this blog to offer you some support! You love your kids and much of the time you know best. While it is our job to ensure our children can look at a situation and figure out and do the right thing. Sometimes, this is beyond the scope of their years; because of this you may need to say no. When the challenge is on and the real reason is because you have lived longer and see the dangers they can not. You may find yourself using the dreaded "Because I said so!" It is okay because that is a valid response.

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