Why Should Churches Conduct Parent Education Classes?-Part 1

One of the greatest tasks of any adult is helping  helpless human beings grow into responsible and capable adults. Yet, many adults have no clue and little support in achieving this goal. In many ways the church already offers support through offering Children's and Family Ministries. However, the church is constantly asking why do so many of our children either look like the world or leave for college and drift away from the Faith. Why? Because we have been so focused on getting adults to act Holy, we have neglected to teach them what it means to live a life connected to the Creator.

Acting Holy and living Holy are two entirely different ways of living. We have majored in acting Holy, so no need to go there. But, how do we live Holy?

Holy living starts with authentically knowing who you are and what you believe. It matters not that the person sitting next to me believes I am Holy. Because if I am being authentic I'm not and quite frankly neither are they. Romans 3:10 tells us "there is no one righteous no not one". It is completely inauthentic to act as if we are. Our right standing with God the Father, only comes through accepting the sacrafice of Yeshua the Messiah who came to Earth to be our Passover Lamb. Slain by the sins of Adam and everyone who will ever walk the Earth except the Messiah Himself.

If I spend my life acting like I am something I am not my children will see through it. And quite frankly want nothing at all to do with it. Who could blame them?

What needs to happen is every person who loves God needs to take a step back and examine their lives to see if what is required is evident and how.

Micah 6:8 states quite clearly what is required.

He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, to love [a]kindness,
And to walk [b]humbly with your God? (NASB)

Authentic living starts with acting and living your life according to your beliefs and values. This is what it means to do justice. Our places of worship often fail to get people to examine their own beliefs. They tend to tell us what to believe. This causes people to try and live what they hear rather than what they truly believe. This is the crux of the problem. People are trying to live their Iives based on what someone else's beliefs. Children pick up on this and relate all of Christianity to being false or fake.

Similarly, patenting education  starts with helping adults to understand their own beliefs and values then begin to line up their actions accordingly. In order to build strong relationships with their children adults need to be "real". This means to say what they mean, by living it out in front of them day in and day out. Acting justly as God requires.

Churches need to get involved in Parenting Education to teach adults to live justly. Churches are the place where learning to live justly is paramount to living out your faith in an authentic manner. It is what has called me to work daily to act justly. It is why I ...

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Master Parenting Part Three: The Soul

The soul is a part of ourselves we often do not connect with on a regular basis. This is very sad because our emotional intelligence stems from the soul. There are three segments of the soul. Our mind, will and emotions. These three parts of us help us to connect with ourselves and others. The soul is what makes us unique and an individual it is also the part of us which needs to connect with others on a meaningful level.

Mind -The mind is where our conscious and unconscious lives are lived. There is a Jewish proverb which says "As a man thinks, so he becomes". Our thoughts and beliefs are the bedrock of how we live our lives and the main reason we have a hard time changing. Before a person can change he/she must examine how they are thinking or feeling about a topic. This is especially true in becomingva better parent. Parenting is a learned skill, usually at the feet of our own parents. But, what if you do not like some or even most of the way you were raised. I have spoken to many adult who feels both shocked and stunned when they hear something coming out of their mouths they promised themselves never to say to their own children. This happens because adults need to not only make this promise, but to develop a different way of thinking on purpose. The subconscious neefs to be reprogrammed. This takes time, effort, and concious deliberate change. The main thing is to monitor  your own thoughts as you are working on the change and change the thought by saying out loud what you want your thoughts to be. This process works on many levels and is a good strategy for changing your mind.

Will-The will is the part of us which both desires and decides our course of action. There are people with all kinds of temperaments. Some are very meek and willing to go with the flow while others are strong-willed and often must be coerced or pushed into submission. However, most of us fall sonewhere in between.

Emotions-Are all about our feelings. There is a big trend right now around Emotional Intelligence. I believe this is because we in the Western World have separated our thoughts from our feelings as if they are two different things. However, as I am pointing out here in fact they are part of the same part of us. the soul.

Being a Master PaParent starts with understanding ourselves and what we think, feel, believe. It is also effected by our health, fatigue, stress, and other things which effect us on a physical manner.

Creating space in our lives to think, talk, read, and take care if our souls in many ways are both missing and frowned upon in our society. Yet, our lives are strongly effected by our mental, physical, and emotional health.

I think when we take time to take care of our souls, we become healthier more authentic people. Because of this people automatically become better at most everything, most especially parenting.

Parenting first, foremost, and always is about establishing a strong and deeply connected relationship with each child. This is much more easily accomplished when an adult has a loving, supportive, and forgiving relationship with themselves.

So, how does one go about creating a good relationship with themselves?

1. Take good care of your body. Honestly, this is personally, my biggest struggle. We all know what to do. Let's be honest. Go to the doctor at least once a year, the dentist twice, eat plenty of fruits, veggies, and lean meats, drink mostly water, get 2 hours of exercise a week, and get 7-8 hours of rest a night. This is the basics of a healthy physical lifestyle, yet most of us hit or miss, this on aa regular basis. If I told you in the next twenty years your children will pretty much be in the exact shape physically you are today, because how yoy live they will live. For decades, people have been trying to educate into or out of a whole host of things, but the research shows 85% of children live the lives their parents did. Your example is your kids future.

2. Mind we all learn differenly. Understanding how you learn is a large part of health in this area. I encourage every person to go onlune and take a multiple intelligence inventory. Once, you understand how you learn it opens up your world.


Mental health is also an important aspect of this area. There are 25-33%  of people in our world who are on some spectrum of a mental or  physical chemical imbalance. These folks need to be under the care of a physician no differently, than a diabetic or a hemophiliac patient.  They rest of us need to monitor our stress, depression, and mental clarity. I recommend once a month sitting down with a friend or significant other and talking about your thoughts and feelings regarding these issues. If you think you could use more support get it.

3. Emotional health starts by not ignoring or glossing over how you feel.  This article gives you feeling words for every letter of the alphabet. Start by putting this list on your refrigerator for a while at least once a day look at the list and desribe how you feel. The purpose of this exercise is to help you start to both recognize what you are feeling and to be able to clearly put those feelings into words.

Being a Master Parent is all about helping yourself to become more and more authentically in tune with who, you are and your mind, will, and emotions. You can do this!

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If you missed the first two blogs, here are the links.

Are you a Maestro in Parenting

Master Parenting Part Two

Cooking with Kids: CareAcademy

I want to thank CareAcademy for our collaboration to create thos blog.

http://www.careacademy.co/blog/cooking-with-kids-teach-life-lessons/

Bedtime Routines & The Rabbit Who Wants to fall Asleep

Carl-Johan Forssen Ehrlin is a Swiss  psychologist who spent many years studying sleep and is reported to have worked diligently to get his theories put into the right order to help children fall asleep. A story in the Daily Mail recounts his journey.

According to the reports it works and works well. A father recently posted a YouTube video of what happened as he read it to his son. Many are concerned about this book however, being an Early Childhood professional I can tell you children often need help in learning to fall asleep. Anyone with a toddler can tell you they only have two speeds full speed and sleep. They can literally be running full tilt one minute and then crashed out asleep on that same floor a moment later. Because infants sleep so much it may seem to many that sleeping is an innate behavior. Many times as in the case of toddlers the body just shuts down. However, getting in bed and going to sleep is not an innate practice; children have to learn good sleeping habits.  The beauty of Dr. Ehrlin's book is not just the bedtime story itself. But, that the story teaches children how to fall asleep.

Psychology is the scientific study of the human mind and its functions, especially those affecting behavior in a given context. So, who better than a person who studies how the mind works to help teach your children to sleep. Another beloved author created a book about sleep. Dr. Seuss Sleep Book is a classic and I love it. This shows me even after all these years children need help learning to fall asleep. Actually, many adults have this problem too. Try Dr. Ehrlin's book. Perhaps you will by as in the end of Dr. Seuss's book number 99 zillion 9 billion and 4. Hear Dr. Seuss's Sleep Book read on YouTube. It is a fact many parents will need to teach their children how to fall asleep. I hope this tool called The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep  will help you to do so faster and easier.

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Reading Is Fundamental

During the 1970's the campaign called Reading Is Fundamental, the goal of this program was to get kids reading. many you 40+ may remember LeVar Burton, talking about how important reading is in life. RIF is now according to their web page. Reading Is Fundamental (RIF) is the largest children’s literacy nonprofit in the United States

Their mission: 

To motivate young children to read by working with them, their parents, and community members to make reading a fun and beneficial part of everyday life. RIF's highest priority is reaching underserved children from birth to age 8.

Why is this important? One reason it is called the School to Prison Pipeline! By now I am sure you have heard the U. S. Prison system uses Third grade reading score to determine the number of prison cells which will be needed in the future. The general concern us I have heard is how can we get the prison system to change. My response to this is, WHAT! The question is we know what the issue is. How can we fix it. The answer? Make sure we get on board with RIF's mission and ensure every child can read on the Third grade level in Third grade!

Here is how we do that:

1. Every child care center in the nation gives parents who come into their program information on what they can do to improve literacy with children. Including reading in front of them, to them, and with them. W

2.  Every community programs giving clients who come to them information on local family reading centers, which help low and non-reading adults improve their skills.

3. Creating special programs which allow third graders not reading on level to get there before moving on.

4. Ensuring children I early childhood c are gaining the emotional intelligence skills needed to thrive in the early years of Elementary school.

5. Make sure we are using a variety of learning styles while teaching reading including hands-on interaction with letters.

6. Providing every school in the nation with a variety I of bilks about fiction and non-fiction topics.

These things will not help children who are older and can not. Reader need other strategies to help them. But, if we start with. These measures now we can at least stop any new cases from starting down the pipeline.

When the Authorities Cause More Harm than Good

There are times when the authorities cause more harm than is necessary. In, recent history there have been stories where children have been taken into custody and transported away from the place where their parents told them to be asin the case of the Metiv's children. Children undertheage of eight placed in hand-ifs like Patrick  and Selecia hear in Georgia. Even a nine year old arrested and taken into custody. We have gone liturgical and it is more than just people filing behaviorfrivolous lawsuits. It is the criminalization of normal childhood behavior. This is a major problem because in essence it points to the fact it is adult expectations which are the issue.

When I was growing up I was told policemen are the community helpers that help to protect us. If you have a problem you can go to them for help. I ask you after what happened tp them are these two children and many like them going to believe what I did as a child.

On this blog I have spoken a lot about aagencies whose responsibility it is to look out for child welfare overzealous attempts to protect children and actually causing more harm.

So, what needs to happen to improve these situations?

1.  We need to rrequire all public service employees (police, social workers, doctors) who may come into contact with chiodren to take a child development course.
2. School authorities should be required to take child focused conflict resolution training, every two years.
3. There needs to be a more discussions in the public discourse about proper expectations for children from ages three to seventeen.
4. We need to reverse the criminalization of children's behavior including tantrums, pranks, and immature behavior.

How does this effect parenting?

We are all in this together. Parents need to have as much knowledge and understanding about children and development as anyone.

1. Know what is acceptable for your child's age and ability level.

2. Be in monyhly contact with your child's teacher.

3. Speak up at city council meetings about police being trained on dealing with children.

Write op-ed pieces to your local paper regarding thisissues incolving school, officers, and others engaging children.

4. Create a support group for families who have been negatively affected by government interaction with children.

5. Get a local church to sponsor programs for officials to talk about any issues and suggest positive and doable solutions.

6. Encourage the increase and availability of PParent Education in your community.

7. Find a local parent educator willing to work with all to create viable options.

8. Stand up for yourself and other parents to fully and independently engage in effective parenting.

The authorities I believe mean well. However, they can see so much negative things happening in their sphere, they tend to forget the are seeinf the exceptions and not the norms. It is all of our job to remind them of this and to help them to remember. 

Back to School: Understanding Multiple Intelligence

Understanding Intelligence

Each of us has a primary, secondary, and tertiary form of intelligence. Dr. Howard says each of us have all nine. However, we all have some which are stronger. This is important because the more we engage in activities and practices which spark our brains the better we think and are prepared to learn new information.

The following Multiple Intelligence Inventory is designed to help you tap into your top three intellectual bents and begin to use them to help you empower your brain to engage.

     Understanding one’s intellectual bent is of utmost importance.  Learning especially in childhood is the primary function of life.  It affects our comprehension of information and the ability to put it into use. 

     Parents need to know how their teen’s brain engages best.  This is important on several fronts.  First of all, what parenting is the training of teens to become fully functioning adults requires the trainer (parent) know the best way to impart learning.  This is seriously needed when trying to teach right from wrong, setting boundaries, and instituting expectations.  A child whose brain is engaged through reading might get a better understanding of these things through a parental letter or a book on the topic.  However, a child who brain engages through music might get it better if the parent puts it in a rap or has the teens put the expectations into a song. Also, it allows parents to set up the home to promote all kinds of learning for their teens.

     Secondly, in helping the child to become more self-aware, knowing their own brain engagement will help teens especially older ones to set up homework, or learning times in a way which is best for them.  For instance, someone who brain is at its best through naturalistic means might have a higher learning curve studding outdoors, or with a cd of nature sounds in the background.

     Third, and perhaps just as important as the others maybe more is explaining to the child’s teacher how she can set up the classroom to meet the intellectual bent of your child; allowing both the home and the school environment to support the principles life-long learning.

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