July 24 is the National Day of the Parent

May is for Mom's. June is for Dads. July is for Parents. Why a separate  month? Because people are starting to recognize  just how difficult and taxing  parenting can be. Though we celebrate Mom's and Dad's celebrating the process is just as important. Though not recognized curgently as an official  holiday  in the US it is acknowledged. How does onE celebrate Parenrs' Day?

Ultimately, this day is to celebrate  effective parenting is about parents and children spending time together building their relationships. So, make this a fun family day. Do one thing Mom and Dad like where everyone can be involved. And one thing the kids like. If that tends to be stressful here are some ideas:

Family Scavenger Hunt-pick several things you know your family likes doing. Write clues and place them in envelope each place should have a fun activity to do before  you leave. The last clue,should  send your family to a place your family CA sit down and share a meal or a drink and remenise about the hunt.

Take a Day Trip

Go to the local Zoo, Botanical Garden or Park

Go Fishing, hiking, or camping

Have a marathon game of Monopoly, Life, Clue, or Pictionary

Take pictures and create a scrap book a month later and remenise about the day. You can then get two relationship building  activities out of one. Remember, life and relationships are all about spending time with those you love! So plan the time when you can and make special times, and as always...

Believe in Parenting

Why do Parents need a Coach?

In every area of life when we want to get better we hire a coach. We have coaches for sports, business, finances,etc.  I recently, took an online coaching session on blog writing. I have been blogging for about a year and wanted to work with an expert to improve my work. So, I ask when it comes to the most difficult job of all, do we strive to go it alone? Mostly it is the history of the stigma which says, if you need help you must be a bad parent. This is very sad because the opposite is true! First of all let me say using the words good or bad in parenting is detrimental. A person is either an effective or ineffective parent. And the truth is no one is 100% effective. Which is why most parents need a coach.

What can a parent coach do for you? I can share with you what I do with my clients.

Help you to look at your own life first.

Parenting at its heart is a relationship between each child and each parent. Therefore, parenting always starts with the adult. Each person needs to have a firm grasp on their values, beliefs, thoughts, words and actions.  These need to be aligned and lived out daily I call this Authenticity. (Here is a link for more information.) Authenticity in a parents life is the foundation of effective parenting. A coach through a series of exercises can help adults get I into authentic living.

Help you grasp the need for balance in co-parenting.

Co- parenting has come over the last few years to mean adopts who live separately parenting children. However, all parents co-parent. Recognizing your child has two hopefully authentic adults building effective relationships with them is important. The most loving and respectful things a parent can do is respect the relationship the child has with their other parent. Insisting your child speak with, to, and about both parents with respect, means you must live the example.

Helping you to establish a working understanding of child development.

Most adults are an knowledgable n their fields of choice. For most it is not understanding how children grow and things adults can do to support and expand that development. Parent Coaches are experts in this area. Any adult thinking what can or should I do now? The answer is see a coach. Adults are often baffled by what kids do. I can tell you there are reasons, but most times children do not know enough to explain. Honestly, there are times when even I get stumped. But, most of the time with some questioning I can help. Most importantly an adult who understands what stage of development their child is in and the characteristics of that stage can figure out how to better support and guide them.

Giving you cues to recognize when parenting shifts are needed.

Most adults do not realize that as children grow how we parent needs to shift. There are three forms of parenting styles. Autocratic where the parent is in charge and makes all of the decisions. Authoritarian where depending on the child's age (from the "no stage" on) parents offer choices and slowly allow children begin to make age appropriate decisions. The last is permissive where parents step back and allow children to figure it out on their own. (Age as child is maturing into adulthood and beginning to transition to college or career.) Actually, most people have one style which is easiest for them. However, these styles are really stages in patenting which need to be followed along a child's path of development. The thing is some children need more boundaries than others so these shifts greatly depend on the child.

These are the four basic areas where I support parents. These are the basics you can go as shallow or as deep as you wish. However, the reason you hire a coach, is to help you do what you do in a stronger and better way. So, I challenge you. Become a more effective parent. Hire a coach

Teaching your Children: They were Sent

I recently joined a group on Facebook called Purpose over  Popularity in addition I'm helping a friend with her motivational speaking business called I Am Life in Tune. Interacting with the ladies who are involved with both of these entities has helped me to begin to rethink on the topic of purpose. What I have been thinking about is how we have mistakenly thought that we need to find the meaning of life. Every person on the planet was actually not simply born onto the planet. However, we were actually sent to the planet. As Christians we recognize that there is life after death. But, what we forget is there also life before birth or for that matter conception. One of my favorite verses is Psalms 139:16.

Your eyes saw me when I was formless;

all my days were written in Your book and planned
before a single one of them began. (Holman)

What I believe this verse gives us is a clear understanding of God having a purpose for us. It is for this purpose we have been born. We were sent here by God to accomplish something. It is up to us not only to find out what that something is, but to prepare our children to do the same. I just read a great article in Relevant Magazine. The title is "What it Really Means o be Made in the Image of God" it talks about all the ways we are like the Creator. One of them is relational. I believe parents  reflect to our children what God is like. Not just by what we say, but in how we live.

I have spoken in previous blogs about being the example for our children and how they live what they learn. I have not spoken much about what we say to them about life and living. I believe every parents should be asking God to reveal to them the purpose for their child being sent here and talking to them about it. I do not know about you,  but I never heard growing up: God sent you here for a reason. Do you know what that reason is? Are you working towards the goal of doing what you are here to do?

Raising children to be purposeful, engaging, productive, adults who commune with God, begins with getting directions from the Holy Spirit and training the child in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). This scripture is not simply about discipline. It is also about purpose. Train up a child to be disciplined and purposeful and when they are old they will not depart from it.

I will give a caveat here. This is to be God's purpose for your child and not yours. Just because your child is one of the best soccer players on the field doe not mean they are to play professionally. It could mean they will get a full ride scholarship so they can become the world's greatest astrophysicist. The only way to know this is to for you to ask and teach them to ask God for the reason they were sent here to Earth.

I know this is a different take on things and may be a bit to wrap your head around. I encourage you to think on it and seek the Holy Spirit on how to apply it your life. And as always,

Believe in Parenting

From Generation to Generation

In 1993 when a teacher from Oral Robertsy University laid hands on me and said  "look up to the fields and see how white  they are for Harvest. You are called to help the children." I understood it to mean that as a parent educator my main goal was in helping parents, in order to help their children. Over the years there have been many reminders for me of this calling.  Last night I got the biggest anointing fall on me as I listened to a group of little children singing "Let the Weight of Your Glory Fall" a song by Paul Wilber. Ultimately this is the calling of God on every parent be sure that your children not only can sing this song.  But, mean it from their  childlike heart and live it all the days of their lives. Until they come face-to-face with the Master of the Universe! Here's a bit of the song I heard, recorded I hope it ministers to you as a parent and as a Christian.
Here it is.

Believe in Parenting

Keep your Children in Church: Parenting from an Authentic Life

Deuteronomy 6:6-9, states:
These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as [b]frontals [c]on your forehead.9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

This is what Solomon refers to as raising a child in the way he should go. Friday night I spoke with a Mom who told me her three children  all now in their late teens or early twenties are in church and serving God. She knows so many others whose children are not. One Sunday night at dinner she asked them why this was. Their answer, because  loving and serving God was real in our house. You and Dad would talk about what the Bible had to say as you made decisions. You read the Bible with us and talked about it almost every week. But, mostly you guys talked about it all the time it was real. That was not true at our friends houses even though they went to church. It was not something they lived everyday. 

Keeping your kids walking in the Faith means you MUST make it real in your own lives!

Ultimately  this is about being authentic in your own lives.Authenticity is all about aligning your beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions. Living life based solely on what you believe. This is not to say you can not change your mind about what you think and believe. It does mean it is one of the things you talk about doing.

Teaching authentic living requires three things:

1. Talking about what you believe and think
2. Explaining to your nd believe what you do
3. Living authentically yourself.   

A life lived by believing in God is not enough. Taking your children to church I'd not enogh. Having your teen be a youth group leader is not enough. The old poem is true "Children Learn What They Live". It is your authentic living of your faith  which will keep your kids in church!

Believe in Parenting 

Why is Multiple Intelligence important in Children's Ministry?

Dr. Howard Gardner is the person who came up with the theory of multiple intelligence. Multiple intelligence means says there are different ways each learns. Dr. Gardner came up with 8 ways in which we learn. Each of these ways need to be explored in every classroom.  Although, many educators use it as a secondary process behind teaching strategies.  I believe this to be a mistake. Learning always starts with the learner. Therefore,  in  children's ministries across the nation we need to be using multiple intelligence in order to empower children to learn.

The 8 forms of intelligence are logical/mathematical, linguistic, musical, spatial, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and natural. In order to use these learning styles effectively takes two forms of planning. The first is open-ended questions to ask children  to inspire critical thinking. The second is a classroom  environment  designed to engage all forms of intelligence. Children’s Ministers and volunteers can use these strategies  to enrich the children's  experience and development in Christianity.

Understanding Safe Sleep

I am a member of the Georgia Infant Safe Sleep Commission or GISSC. This is a, coalition of governmental, eeducational, and nonprofits who work together to help parents to develop safe sleeping habits for their babies. The process of safe sleeping says: Infants should sleep alone, on a firm matress, with a light cover. Ideally matress pads, crib bumpers and pillows are not in the crib or bassinet.


Now, let me tell you why. Because it is better to be safe and to error on the side of caution. Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those overly cautious parent educators who think parents need to be watching children 24/7 or else. I am however wanting parents to recognize the fact that knowing better means doing better. I work on the Coalition with a GBI medical examiner who does autopsies on all children under five. She had spoken to us on several occasions about how devastating it is to parents who wake up to find their child has died in bed with them.

I often hear people say families have been co-sleeping for generations, which of course is true. But, matresses have also changed. Most people think the danger of  suffication for an infant is rolling over on a child.  But, in  reality the danger comes from a parrot rolling over and the baby rolling over onto their face and not being able to breathe. A sleeping parent rarely realizes their rolling during sleep. Yet, many infants have died this way. One infant dying this,way is one too many when we know better. Let your child sleep alone in a basdinette next to your bed if you want them close to you.

Parenting is mostly about examining your feelings, thoughts and actions and choosing what is best for your child. Snuggling is certainly important part of bonding. Sleeping together is fun and creates a closeness. However,  there is a time for everything wait to snuggle while sleeping until you child is older . It will be safer.