watched the Lifetime biopic of American Idol's Fantasia Barrino. You saw as I did her telling her brother, " if I do not follow my dreams, Zion won't follow hers. And I am not having that." This is so on target I cheered. You see, there has been a school of thought which says once you have a child you put your dreams and goals behind you. Balderdash! You are your children's role model living your dreams is key to ensuring they do the same. Which Ms. Barrino clearly understood.
In the last segment of this series I spoke on Authenticity which is the alignment of beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions. It is impossible to follow an authentic life without following your dreams. However, what it means to follow your dreams may mean lots of preparation for your following; while you put a priority on family life. I could say following your dreams while sacrificing your children is in no way effective parenting. Building a foundation on which you can launch your dreams while being there for your family is building not only them but you.
Creating a Plan
Some dreams can be achieved easily. I dreamt of seeing the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy live. I took my mother and sister to see The Nutcracker. Done. Yet, not all dreams are so easily accomplished. I have the dream of becoming a world class, highly sought after, and acclaimed Parent Expert. Still working on it! Yet, I have a plan and am working on it regularly. What is your dream?
Here are some ways to get started.
- Write down your dream at first it may be a sentence. My dream is...
- Find people who have succeeded in your chosen goal and read their writings, watch their videos, follow who they follow on social media in the field.
- Begin to explore what makes you the same and different in thoughts and execution.
- Get a coach in your field and preferably in your city.
- Start building the structure for your dreams.
- Create a list of steps.
- Set benchmarks for yourself in time and what the finished task will look like.
Talk about your Plan to Family
- Be Carful! Share your plan with those you can trust to love and support your dreams. Do not putt it out to be trampled.
- Discuss in terms will not if.
- If it can be drawn or writing out put it up where you see it constantly.
- Celebrate each benchmark as it is completed share them with your family before and during.
Dreaming with your children
Many parents have dreams for their children. But, the key to helping your kids living authentically and with their own set of goals is in parents helping children discover their own dreams, mentors, coaches, and set of benchmarks. Be supportive and guide them if they get stuck or lost. But, let them lead. After all, it is their dream. You have your own dreams to bring to pass. Be sure to follow the above steps above as you support your children!
Believe in Parenting