Sex Trafficking and Parenting

Does this seem like an odd posting? Be warned I am being both graphic and real here. Unless and until we face this issue our girls will continue to be commodities rather than children.

There are 100 thousand children in the United States who are being sex trafficked everyday, in every city in America.  There are men who are willing to rape our babies. They are even willing to pay other men to do so.

 The average young girl who is forced into prostitution is aged 11 to 14. What happenes to this young girl starts with  her parents being absent in one way or another. A predator sneaks in to fill the gap.  Telling her that she's loved,  that she's cared for, buying her gifts basically getting her to fall in love with them. Their objective is only to turn her a few days, weeks, or months later into a street whore. The process sets them up to be gang raped, beaten, demoralized to strip her of both of her dignity and humanity. To turn her into a product, a slave to be bought and sold on the streets of America.

Parents you have  a role  in this scenario you can  build strong, loving, committed relationships with your children. Know who their friends are, where they are going and with whom. Help them find purpose and focus by helping them to find what they are passionate about and help them build good solid rrelationshis with other kids.

Pimps look for kids who are lonely, vulnerable, with low self-esteem, or who are foster kids or in group homes. Parents are the only ones who have continuous ability to give kids the tools they need to avoid being targeted! Please do your part.

I know this is hard to hear and even harder to believe. Before you right off my warning read the first three chapters of this book.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/?ean=9780989645126

Believe in Parenting

Living with someone Else's Kids

I'm excited to share this article with you. It was in collaboration with  roomiconnect an organization that helps people consider what it means to be a roommate.  If you are considering moving in with someone else who has children, this article gives you somethings to  think about. I want to thank Nicole Hamilton and the team at roomiconnect. Let me know what you think.

Living with Kids

Believe in Parenting

Your Help would be most Valued!

At 13 years old when I first started working with kids, I fell in love with them. 10 years later after I graduated from college and started to learn about children, wards of the state who lived without their families did I start of my journey into becoming a parent development guide. It was talking to these 9, 10, and 11 year olds and hearing their stories which lead me on the path I am now on.

The last 30 years it has become my desire and my goal to help every adult become healthy,  whole, and effective in their roles as parents. 



Parents, Teachers, and Advocates has our first opportunity  to speak to a national audience at the Fathers and Families Coalition of America 17th annual National Conference. This the largest coalition in the US dealing with fatherhood for Black and Latino Dads. However, our fundraising efforts have not netted enough. We need a total of $2500 in order to go.

These funds will cover the following:

Support for our two sessions at the conference including  one on Fatherhood and Emotional I Intelligence and one for creating Parent Development Ministries in Churches, sessions materials, handouts, shipping, and travel expenses.

All donations are tax deductible you will receive a receipt now and a tax form next January. You can make your donations at the following Go Fund Me Link. Thank you in advance for your consideration of this support request!

Support -Link Here!

Teens and the Dangers of Cell Phone Bullying

There is a program in LA and many other communities where the police talk with parents and students regarding cell phones and bullying. This story, shares one such meeting. Parents need to know what is happening with their children, especially on their cell phones. One thing the officer pointed out. This form of bullying never stops there is no relief.

Parents should be actively monitoring their children's social media and cell phone usage. Make it a condition of getting a device. There are lots of apps for this process. PC Magazine has an article on good apps. There is a statistic which says 81% of teens are online daily. However, only 34% of parents are online.

Teens are in a similar in stage to two year olds. They are egocentric and think they can do things themselves. They are. Pulling away from parents in order to become their own adult person. Like a two year old teens need firm boundaries and close supervision. Though teens are older they are in no way prepared to be completely let loose. Social media is great for social interactions with friends. It is also one of the most dangerous tools in the hands of an angry or destructive teen. If you choose to let your children participate in social media supervise them on a regular basis. You are the adult, be the parent. Love your kids enough to let them say " I hate you". Let's be honest you don't always like them either!

Believe in Parenting

Merry Christmas 2015

Christmas is my favorite time of year. It is a time to celebrate the greatest gift ever given "For unto us the Son was given" the promise of forgiveness and redemption. Which in turn gives us every reason to be joyful in our freedom from death.

This has been my first year of blogging and I am grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment.

As you celebrate during these last weeks of the year I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and smile. Hug your family close, drink as much water as wine, and make lasting memories. Have a very Merry Christmas. And as always Believe in Parenting!

Teach your Children the Real meaning of Christmas!

Let me start off  by saying if Christmas has become too secular for your tastes do not let it color your view; ultimately Christmas is about you and what is in your heart. Let's look at some of the traditional themes of Christmas and how you can share them with your children.

Saint  Nicholas

The real Nicholas was a Christian Bishop. He lived in the late 3rd century. He saw so much poverty and sickness he worked to help the poor and the sick  After his death the legend of Santa Claus followed his giving nature. Every country has their own customs surrounding the mythical Santa.  However, the original St. Nicholas lived when Rome was still and empire.

Candy Canes

Candy Canes were originally just white sticks of candy. A German Catholic Priest In 1647 started handing them out to children to get them through the long mass on Christmas Eve. Another person a candy maker wanted to decorate his tree with them so He curved them. The candy cane did not make it to the  US until 1847. Then it was still a white hooked candy.. Before 1900 all pictures with the treat where white. The pictures with the red and white were shown after 1900. There is no official time or person to attribute the  red and white Christmas Canes we know today. However, there is a legend in Christan circles written in the poem seen below.
Christmas Candy Cane Poem

Look at the Candy Cane
What do you see?
Stripes that are red
Like the blood shed for me
White is for my Savior
Who’s sinless and pure!
“J” is for Jesus My Lord, that’s for sure!
Turn it around
And a staff you will see
Jesus my shepherd
Was born for Me!
Christmas Trees

Many ancient people groups believed in sun gods. They also believed that bringinging in evergreens and other life affirming plants would help the sun god heal. This all happened around December 21 the Winter Solstice. This is the pagan beginnings.

However, Christians began to look at trees in the  late 16th century as a way to express their belief in the everliving God in the 16th century/. The country of Germany is credited with the Christmas tree. Here in the US it is said the first Christmas tree was found in Pennsylvania Dutch Country in the 1830”s. Legend says it was the German Protestant Minister
Martin Luther on the way home from a sermon seeing the stars through the boughs of an evergreen tree; used a tree and candles to show his family the beauty he saw.

 Fruit Cake

Fruit cake was a way to preserve a food source. Someone could bake a bread filling it with nuts, fruit, and seeds from the harvest and then preserve it by pouring alcohol over the loaves once a month. Fruit cake will remain edible as long as it is doused every so often. They have been known to last over ten years. The cakes were served during the Victorian era as a tea cake in England. It was very popular in the US in the late 19th and early 20th century. I suspect because it is so labor intensive to make. It has gone by the wayside for many home bakers.

Nativity

We have all seen a picture of Mary and Jesus as a baby. I especially like to see the whole Nativity scene with animals, Shepards, Wisemen and all. This depiction of the Savior's birth is both heartwarming and humbling.  Luke 2 gives the full details of the story from conception to birth. Though historians and the habits of sheperds tell us that more than likely these events happened at a warmer time of year; these events somehow seem more special having taken place in winter. From my point of view the most heart tugging point of the story is that the King of Glory thought it fit to show the world His great humility by being born in a stable, while the "kingmakers" found the way to Him by following a star.


Giving

Unto us a Son is given. This verse in the Bible is found in Isaiah 9:6 and reads:
For unto us a Child is born,
Unto us a Son is given;
And the government will be upon His shoulder.
And His name will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Giving is a large part of the season. It was Luke in Acts 20:35 who told us: It is more blessed to give than to receive. I think this is a real value our children can benefit from learning. One important thing to remember is the appropriate time to approach these lessons is between five and six years of age. These lessons may include getting your big kid to gather all his baby toys to take to the local shelter or getting her involved in the planning of getting her  gift for Grandma. When teaching these lessons it is important to let the child see the results of their giving. Kids need to see the joy others get when they receive a gift.

Love is the ultimate theme of Christmas

it was Jesus who told us in John 3:16 “That God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believed in Him would receive everlasting life.” Ultimately this is the true gift of Christmas. It is impossible to separate out the myths, folklore, and questionable portions of our Christmas traditions. After all those who are Christians brought these with them into their new walk. However, placing the sacred above the folklore and trusting our Savior to take care of the rest is our responsibility. Also, teaching our children to know and recognize the differences gives them the knowledge to choose and understand how and why they celebrate.

Using Multiple Intelligence for Buying Christmas Gifts

Parents did you know there are eight forms of ntelligence. This theory is called Multiple Intelligence or MI. The most well known purveyor of this theory is Dr. Howard Gardner. I think it is very important for you to know each of your children's MI. In addition, to understanding them well enough to help them and their teachers use it in creating positive learning environments!

Here are the eight:

Linguistic-reading, audio\visual, listening
Logical/Mathematical-Thinking and figuring out how things work,Puzzles,
Spacial-Picture, artistic representation
Bodily Kinestetic- hands-on, involved in a physical manner
Interpersonal-talking or engaging with other people
Intrapersonal-getting time to think or ponder alone alone or focused on self-expression
Musical-sounds, rhythms or musical patterns
Nature-outdoors, animals, oceanic sights or sounds

Each of these eight can be a primary, secondary, or even tertiary form of intelligence. One way of discovering a child's MI is for them to take an inventory. Scholastic has a great one for children.

Why is MI important?

Each one of us learns differently. The eight ways of learning above effects the way we all see the world. However, they also effect how we learn in general.

I am a linguistic/interpersonal learner, guess what every teacher said about me in class? Yep, Barbara talks too much in class. My learning bent showed up. My second cousin Acacia was an exceptional gymnast, yet she struggled in school. Until she had a teacher who helped figure out how to get herself to engage physically in what she was learning or to do some physical activity to fire up her brain. As it turns out if a person regularly engages in things which are part of their learning bent learning becomes easier. This is why I am suggesting parents buy gifts for their children which will help them engage their MI. (I also think you should buy gifts for adults the same way.) I have created a .pdf for $0.99 which gives suggestions for things to buy for each area of MI. I hope you enjoy your holiday, while giving your loved ones the gift of brain power.

Purchase the list here..

Believe in Parenting